Comments and critique is welcome. At the bottom of this post is a poem that has not been posted on AO before. Thanks for reading.
"Happy Beyond Happy"
Happy beyond happy,
Joyed beyond description.
My heart raced with glee,
for I saw you and am free.
My sarrow taken,
my hatred gone.
Forgotten all that was wrong.
Forgotten all I have done.
Swollowing the happiness,
drowning in my cheer.
Thankyou for coming back.
Thankyou for calming my fear.
Happy beyond happy,
Joyed beyond description.
My eyes flood with tears,
for I saw you and am free.
"Rescue me from This"
I want you so much,
I long for your touch.
Rescue me my sweet,
save me from this.
My mind screams for your salvation,
my body calls for your desecration.
Save me my sweet,
help me fight this.
I lust for your feel,
I yern for it real.
Help me my sweet.
releave me of this.
Cut me!
Bleed me!
Release me!
Ease me!
Releave me my sweet.
Rescue me from this.
"A Different Shadow"
Though I stand in the light,
I am but another shadow.
Though I am not white.
I live in the darkness.
I am but another creature,
a strange being called human.
I am but another creation,
a being from another.
Though I stand alone,
I am surrounded.
Though I am strong,
I hide behind my weakness.
I am me,
and nothing will change.
I am myself,
a different shadow of humanity.
"Unbreakable addition"
I can't stop...
My mind thirsts for it.
I can't think...
My body deserves it.
I need this drug,
my life depends on it.
I try and stop,
really I do.
But the farthest I get,
I end up here.
Back at the begining,
the start of the longing.
I ache for it all:
the relief by pain,
the temperary high,
the possiblity I may die,
the evidence I'm alive,
the peace of release.
What I crave most though,
the feel of belonging.
And once again
I'm back at the begining.
I can't stop...
My mind thirsts for it.
I can't think...
My body deserves it.
I need this drug,
my life demands it.
Why can't I stop?
I try,
really I do.
But this want is so strong,
and I am so weak.
The desire is to much,
and listness to unyielding.
Always longing,
I end up at the begining.
I want to feel full,
I want to feel whole.
I desire it all:
the visibility of blood,
the freedom of love,
the connection with others,
the feel of their blows,
the glimps of belonging.
And yet again,
I end up at the begining.
I can't stop...
My mind thirsts for it.
I can't think...
My body deserves it.
I need this drug,
my life demands it.
"Diving"
Gulping giant gulps of water,
gasping for air.
I scream for someones help,
who, I don't care.
Fearing for my life,
with pain in my eyes.
I'm afraid no ones near,
to hear my desperate cries.
Frantically I strike the water around me,
trying hard not to sink.
Plus the more I scream and yell,
the more water I seem to drink.
My nose burns from the water.
Eyes burn from chlorine.
This is the last opportunity...
My final heard scream.
With that, the waters hands grab me,
pulling me under.
All of this could have been avoided,
if not for my blunder.
Then quickly I black out,
Yet see just fine.
Staring awkwardly at the water,
I guess it wasn't my time.
Suddenly I realize something strange,
and think, dear lord.
Coming to the realization...
My feet haven't even left the diving board...
"Freeze"
Warm, warm heart,
beat no more.
Cool so much,
freeze ones core.
Stop the ace,
the pain inside.
Make me numb,
for my soul has died.
Warm, warm heart,
freeze as stone.
Make me harsh
to be alone.
Stop the hurt,
the screaming with in.
Send me to hell
for all my sin.
just stop the warmth
and beat no more.
Cool so much,
freeze ones core.
untiled poem
I cry just to be near you.
I wish for it to be just us two.
This feeling I feel is so new.
I wish it to be already through.
I am so confuse on what to do.
I cry just to be near you.
"WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
It's like a rollercoaster,
going up and down
and all around.
It's like a road trip,
Sitting and waiting,
annoyed out of my mind.
But I won't complain,
I'm just here for fun,
just here for the ride.
WEEEEEEEEEE!!!
It's like the bounce around,
jumping high up
the coming back down.
It's like a bus ride,
sitting and sleeping
bored out of my mind.
But I won't complain,
I'm just here for my amusement,
just here for the ride.
WEEEEEEEEEE!!!
It's like a cruise,
motion up and down.
Do you not realize...
It get motion sick?
"Awaiting"
May the storm come
and hide my pain.
Let it make me ill
or go insane.
Let it kill my sleep
with lightening night.
May it startle little children
with the loudness of light.
Let a bolt strike me,
and fry my brain.
May it end my life
with nothing to gain.
Let it hide the world,
make me dumb.
Let it do these things,
yet to me it won't come.
I ask it to
every time it rains.
To free my mind,
kill it's pains.
Yet it ignores me,
and runs away.
So may the storm come,
I ask everyday.
"Hopeless State"
Peaceful feeling,
never leave me.
Keep me here,
this fake happy.
Constant emptiness,
never leave me.
Keep me open,
this constant pain.
Broken mind,
never heal me.
Keep me dumb,
this blindness.
Shattered life,
never heal me.
Keep me hurting,
this darkened feeling.
Beautiful dreams,
stay away.
Leave me be,
this hopeless state.
"Thinking
This is ridiculous,
irrational,
unlogical thinking.
Why yearn for something so uncertain?
Why pain ones self,
inside and out?
Why desecrate ones body
just for a second of relief?
All over something so preposterous,
outrages,
yet undeniable.
Over the feelings I hold innermost,
and fear to allow it to manifest.
Over something so simple
and non complex.
All leading to damaging,
impaired,
and unreasonable thinking.
This is so ridiculous.
"Why is it like the past yet again?"
Why is it that no one wants me?
Why am I refused yet again,
yet everyone wants me to be with them?
They are my enemies,
my driver do insanity.
They are my family,
my blood line to hell.
Why is it that no one needs me?
Why am I denied yet again,
and everyone wants to control me.
They are my betrayer,
my lying friends.
They are my brethren,
my so called loved ones.
Why is it just like before?
Why is it like the past yet again?
