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Old Jun 15, 2006, 07:47 AM   #1 (permalink)
Diamond in the Rough
 
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My Confession

I never wanted to change your world
I only wanted a taste of it
I never ment for this to happen
I only wanted to test my strength
now you sit crumbling
staring at my bound and broken body
your heart is shattered
my blood is splattered
all across the floor.

No regrets I once said
It was until you'd walked through that door
Painful Memories sting your mind
Of all the people you'd left behind
and now as my life fades away
I remember all the things
i'd longed to say
Of all the things
I'd longed to do
All now broken dreams
Never would they come true
My stupidity broke my body
My stupidity killed you

Now I stand here staring at you,
Alone and lifeless
Your coffin stains my thoughts
This is what my stupidity brought
It's my fault that I didn't die
Still I stand here
For the first time I cry
I don't want to live anymore
My heart has been broken
I fall to the floor.

Back to those thoughts
Back to that door
Back to that night
I wish for once more
Back to that knife
Back to that cut
Back to the blood
And what my insanity brought.

<comments: and sorry for the grammer and stanza things but i was to lazy to make it perfect lol>
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Last edited by Othello; Jun 15, 2006 at 08:18 AM.
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Old Jun 15, 2006, 08:17 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: My Confession

CHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAA!!!!
woa that was odd...well I love you poem...it makes sence...but it is also confusing...i don't think i spelled that rite but anyways...Yup I loved it and i hope you rite more...
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Old Jun 15, 2006, 10:03 AM   #3 (permalink)
Diamond in the Rough
 
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Re: My Confession

Whoa man great poem! It realy explains iin detail how you mest up. Realy, this is a great poem. She dies because of your "stupidity". Whoa... I realy enjoied reading this. Keep it up, look forward to your next piece of work!
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Old Jun 15, 2006, 10:08 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: My Confession

Othello, i'll say this again....u're getting better n better.....i need to post some poem XD

Anyways like TF said it's good with the sort of story u got going. Keep it up
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Old Jun 15, 2006, 05:51 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Diamond in the Rough
 
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Re: My Confession

The rhyming created a good rythm that made it more interesting to read. Nicely done.
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Old Jun 15, 2006, 11:10 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: My Confession

ok, that's it. im hooked to your poems....which means i'll probaly be ur fan !
i really love that all your poems rhyme and that whenever u read it out it has a real nice flow to it. very deep poem. one that describes ur love ones being killed out of your stupidity(no offence XD) and u being extremely guilty. i also liked the title. ^^
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Old Jun 15, 2006, 11:25 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: My Confession

this poem is really great
i am gonna save this poem and
print it out later if thats ok with you.
this poem is worth reading more than once
i like this alot
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Old Jun 16, 2006, 12:44 AM   #8 (permalink)
Diamond in the Rough
 
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Re: My Confession

Impressive really impressive , but don't get used to it because I'am going to make a better poem
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