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Thread: my diary , i'm ready to say

  1. #1
    Otaku powerxxx may be famous one day powerxxx may be famous one day powerxxx's Avatar
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    my diary , i'm ready to say

    promises broken , thoughts confused
    don't know what to do any more

    i am writing just to let out everything that lies inside

    right now i am crying
    i am suffering
    confused in my own thoughts

    i am down for too long
    and still am

    before this i've seen the day can't be changed
    because i already knew the score
    i already knew whats going to happen

    i geuss there is no other way
    and the way it geos it doesn't matter

    i don't care anymore
    if it's right or wrong

    everything lies infront of me
    there it is all in black and white

    by now
    i think i've known that i've never been
    so undecided

    everything i've ever had
    has been taken away

    i am a person
    so scared and frightened

    the things that have happened
    am i surely the one to blame

    i want to accept my fate
    then maybe i'll be okay

    robbed from my own
    love and hate

    i wonder what is left inside of me
    i tried to tell you this

    under everything
    there is something
    that you can't even see
    that i can't even believe

    that the truth is right here sitting infront of me
    but i still can't see it

    i wanted to find a dream
    for me to disbelieve this

    i look at all of these people
    standing infront of me
    watching me
    with eyes , hearts and souls filled with
    anger, hate and depise

    i look back
    and scream
    do you realize you made me look like i'm the one
    you made me look like i'm the fool

    while the real fool
    is standing infront of me

    i am not ready to leave
    i am not ready to fade

    not yet
    i'm not willing to give up just yet
    i still have something to prove

    even if your look has changed
    even if your feelings changed

    because you are surely the one to blame

    do you know that
    you did all of this to me

    and the truth is
    everything you've told me was a lie
    everword you've spoken was just something to hurt me more

    after what i told you
    the truth

    you wanted to make me well
    you wanted for me to look up from the ground
    you wanted me to forgive you

    but no thanks

    not my eyes
    not my heart
    could forget the awefull things you've done to me


    but tomorrow is another day
    i will find my perfect way out
    and my perfect space to crawl into

    my final words to you is that
    i'm ready
    i'm ready to say ...that...

    i will find my own way without you or anyone else........

    i'm finally ready to say
    good bye.......
    Power -xxx- aka -M.Ali
    I Fly Swiftly through the air
    I Spread My Wings Without A trace

  2. #2
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: my diary , i'm ready to say

    The poem was wayy too long. Try adding some stanzas together? And then using correct punctuation? That way the reader will actually want to read the poem.
    Seduced by Flesh


  3. #3
    You's Trollin Pro Leafblower Champion, Helicopter Champion ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro's Avatar
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    Re: my diary , i'm ready to say

    This poem was somehow emoish ( i apologize if that offends you), but still was really kool, i just wanna say, keep it up man.

  4. #4
    new piks in mem gallery animechick may be famous one day animechick may be famous one day animechick's Avatar
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    Re: my diary , i'm ready to say

    i liked, although it was long, but sometimes if you can keep em going, go long. and about the emo line ketket ,>ketaro>, i agree, but still me like babe.
    im really doin this!! start making money today! <a href="http://www.fusioncash.net/?ref=ke101544"><img src="http://www.fusioncash.net/sig.php/0e40e75b752dx3.png" alt="Free Money at FusionCash!" title="Free Money at FusionCash!" border="0"></a>

  5. #5
    Otaku Heartless_mage may be famous one day Heartless_mage may be famous one day Heartless_mage's Avatar
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    Re: my diary , i'm ready to say

    i agree it was wayyyyy to long, though it was good you should shorten it a bit

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