Thread: my diary , Why .........

my diary

i don't want to write ,
today was ,,, awefull ,confusing, and. and i don't know.......
i promised that i wouldn't write till i held the promise i made
it seems like i'm gonna break that promise

i ...
i.....
don't know what to do anymore
i'm lost

my mind ..
i can't think well
i am confused

i am sitting here
thinking why
why couldn't i do anything to you
although i hated you
i despised you
and wanted to make you suffer

today when i saw you
i intended to hurt you
i intended to make you feel

i screamed at you
telling you
i am not different
i am a person just like you
that i have feelings
that i have imotions

before i said that
i hated your eyes staring at me
the eyes that were filled with hate
the eyes that have despised me

but why have your eyes changed
after what i said

why did i feel that you were afraid of something
that you were sorry for something

that view
made me stop from talking
made me stop doing anything

i just stood in my place
wondering
what have i done

i only said the truth
and that changed too many things

i wanted to hit you
i wanted to hurt you

but my mouth didn't move
my body didn't move
i just,,, i just ..
i just stood in my place

i saw you there standing watching me
with all the fear
with all the sorryness

why ,,,
why ...
did you change in an instant

i feel ......
i feel ...............
like i've done something wrong
like i am afraid of something

what am i afriad of
what am i losing

i don't know
i can't even realize the facts about my self
i just can't figure out why.......
things have turned this way..
i just sit here and wonder why

my diary