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Thread: My first poem here

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    Newbie Maze Walker is off to a good start Maze Walker's Avatar
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    My first poem here

    Also It's my first poem in English... So read and I wait for your markings

    Well, it's sounds a bit EMO but it's not it xP

    WitHOuT nOtHinG
    Without nothing I lye here,
    Without gladness,without fear,
    Without sadness, without pain,
    Withou chance to win this game.

    I started it so long ago
    It had appeared in my soul
    A reason why,a meaning for me,
    A goal what for live and be.

    And looking for it I lost all,
    And even my so needed soul,
    And now I live... No ,I'm exist,
    And what I see in future - only mist.

    I'm empty,hollow body,that
    Is seeking forward to the end
    And trying to complete it's way
    I'm glad to die at every day...

    it's kinda sad and as I said, EMO but I'm not like that Just wrote what come in my head xP

    ...World of my imaginary is my birth place...

  2. #2
    「Someone」 Goo Slasher Champion, Fish Kill Champion, Rapid Motion Champion, Cell-Out Champion, Sober Santa 2 Champion, Flower Girl Champion KuwiRules145 is off to a good start KuwiRules145's Avatar
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    Re: My first poem here

    I love this poem really! I don't really think it's that emo really but I simply enjoy reading this!! This poem is just so dark and yup like you said sad but I still loved it so i hope to see more of your fantasic work! ^^
    「When I'm sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead」

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    Newbie Maze Walker is off to a good start Maze Walker's Avatar
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    Re: My first poem here

    Thank you Kuwi, but I don't think my works so fantastic Right now I'm thinking about next poem xP

    ...World of my imaginary is my birth place...

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    Rawr~ :3 Boxteroid Champion, flyplane Champion, Home Run Champion, Bubbelfutsch Champion, Fire Fighter Champion, Brendans Soccer Champion, Movie Star Match-Up Champion, Total blackout Champion, Text Your Reflexes Champion, Scary movie Champion, Hulk Smash Up Champion, Star Wars Champion, Extreme Snowboarding Champion, Air Disc Champion, Action Fish Champion, A Game Of 3 Halves Champion, Battleball Champion, Hacky Sack Champion, FAD 2003 Champion, SQRL Golf Champion, Dr Yeckyl and Mr Ride Champion, Sky Glide Champion, Flyer Champion, Finnair Champion, Drachenjagd Champion, Canyon Glider Champion, City Surfing Champion, Action Driving Game Champion, Extreme Rowing Champion, Kardahdg Champion, Acceleracers Track Mod Champion, Final Test Champion, Du Wichtel Champion, Pedal Power Champion, Camera Killer 2 Champion, Bike Mania on ICE Champion, ATV Winter Challenge Champion, Caliber Dash Champion, Diesel and Death Champion, Snow Ride Champion, Camera Killer Champion, Pepsi Jet Ski Champion, Bumper Cars Championship Champion, Drifting Champion, Get A Grip Champion, Rooney on the Rampage Champion, Death To Ninja Champion, Kung Fu Hustle 2 Champion, Muay Thai Champion, Metal Arm FAWEGE Champion, Knife Champion, Classroom Fighter Champion, Nobuyuki Forces 3 Champion, Caddeva Champion, Sewer Dweller Champion, Angel Mart Champion, Snowy Champion, Bola Champion, Boiler Room Champion, Bobcat Champion, Amazon Quest Champion, Booty Champion, Five Errors Champion, Mind Your Marbles Champion, Angel Fruit Champion, Binggrae Champion, Candy Shoot Champion, Imperial tiles Champion, Himalayaya - Yeti Strikes Back Champion, Terrorist Attack Champion, Americas Army Champion, Special Operations Champion, Destroy the robots Champion, Cubicle Warfare Champion, Battle Field Champion, Weapons Dealer Champion, Army Copter Champion, Flat War Champion, Terrorist Alert Champion, Bully Basher Champion, Reaktor Champion, Bungee Rescue Champion, The Contraptor Champion, Boris Champion, Carling Cold Champion, Paddleball Champion RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe's Avatar
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    Re: My first poem here

    Hmm...not a bad poem...well a bit of spelling and grammar correction it'll be better...
    and i think the last line don't go with the stanza...

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
    I'm BACK AO!
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    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: My first poem here

    This was good, very good, I love the rhyming, but you have some grammar errors, that sometimes bother a bit... but that wll change in time ^^ I really want to see more from you Maze Walker ^^ Nice to see you writing...

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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