Rave_Grip

I got tired of dark poems, this one lightened me up a lot

All these hard and ruthless experiences
In my life I faced, still facing, and will face
Just give me the will live and stand up
Not give up

I know there had been hardships but who cares
They just make you stronger and resilient

Little butterfly, travelling throughout its life
Still searching for its motive

Its delicate wings spread, showing off the colours of vivacity
Knowing where to go or not, it still flutters against the strong winds
Not knowing where the currents might throw the gentle creature
Still it’s the most beautiful being after its insect form

Its warm and bright colours present an unexpected sight
And an exultant smile upon my face
Against the calming cold wind it cutely struggled

I was just watching rustily, still in my bed
Pondering sleepily “Where is it going…”
Walking towards it, shielding it by my little hand

… It just clings on to me
The sight was just cute

Stopped fluttering its wings
Probably giving up…
This little butterfly
Against the oversized odds

The wind stops blowing,
It spreads its wings
And leaves its shelter

This small winged creature
Flies higher than me




A note: -
The people who I don't want to talk to, please saying stuff about me.
I don't wanna take names. You know who you are.
Just go away and hide your lives to yourselves.

__________________

Wherever you see, there is always 98% of people who love something; and 2% that don't. I'm pretty sure that not ALL 98% of peeps don't support Lolita or anything. So if you agree, put it in your sig.
| .:~My AO Gallery~:. | | .:~The AO Rules~:. |

CherryBlossom18

Very nice poem it was kinda sweet. I liked it good job.

__________________
"Sunset Kisses Along The Beach"
Made for me by HolderofTheDarkChalice
Thanks so much I love it!

eleonne

The first two stanzas of the poem don't seem to connect very well with the rest of the poem. With the first two stanzas, you were talking about your perspectives on hardships, then suddenly, your next stanza shifts into talking about the little butterfly. I do see how you've attempted to interrelate the two seperate ideas, but I don't think it was connected well - the shift was too sudden. There must be a way to better connect these two seperate ideas into one whole consistent meaningful poem, so an improvement can still be done in my opinion.

I think the poem has a really sweet touch to it, especially once you've sucessfully combined the two ideas. The last line is really good and I like the way it summed up your poem. It's definitely a great last line/stanza worthy of your poem. Keep it up!

__________________

Lotski

cool, i love butterflies.. it amazes me and you just made a
poem that makes me love them more.. =)
On the other hand, i agree with eleonne.
you are trying to compare urself to the butterfly, am i right?
in that case, add one more stanza to make a connection to the
butterfly..
I like it though, i see a butterfly now.. lol

__________________

Be d REASON for someone's happiness, NOT just part of it...
Be a PART of someone's sadness, but NOT d reason for it.

bcvl1124

Wow! It's a very nice poem! Another inspiration for my story. One day when I finished my stories I will show you all. ^^;;

Lasura

*sigh*... a wonderful poem... I don't really don't know what to say... you've made me speechless Rave... This poem even made me cry... A wondeful work, I just love it...



Oh, and by the way:
I hope that one day comes soon!!! I'll be looking forward.

__________________

My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

kedar

Please do not revive threads that have been inactive for more than 2 weeks. Thank you!

+Closing+

__________________