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Thread: My Little Butterfly

  1. #1
    Banned Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip's Avatar
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    Smile My Little Butterfly

    I got tired of dark poems, this one lightened me up a lot

    All these hard and ruthless experiences
    In my life I faced, still facing, and will face
    Just give me the will live and stand up
    Not give up

    I know there had been hardships but who cares
    They just make you stronger and resilient

    Little butterfly, travelling throughout its life
    Still searching for its motive

    Its delicate wings spread, showing off the colours of vivacity
    Knowing where to go or not, it still flutters against the strong winds
    Not knowing where the currents might throw the gentle creature
    Still it’s the most beautiful being after its insect form

    Its warm and bright colours present an unexpected sight
    And an exultant smile upon my face
    Against the calming cold wind it cutely struggled

    I was just watching rustily, still in my bed
    Pondering sleepily “Where is it going…”
    Walking towards it, shielding it by my little hand

    … It just clings on to me
    The sight was just cute

    Stopped fluttering its wings
    Probably giving up…
    This little butterfly
    Against the oversized odds

    The wind stops blowing,
    It spreads its wings
    And leaves its shelter

    This small winged creature
    Flies higher than me




    A note: -
    The people who I don't want to talk to, please saying stuff about me.
    I don't wanna take names. You know who you are.
    Just go away and hide your lives to yourselves.

  2. #2
    Heavy Metal Goddess CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18's Avatar
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    Re: My Little Butterfly

    Very nice poem it was kinda sweet. I liked it good job.
    "Sunset Kisses Along The Beach"
    Made for me by HolderofTheDarkChalice
    Thanks so much I love it!

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    Otaku eleonne has disabled reputation eleonne's Avatar
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    Re: My Little Butterfly

    The first two stanzas of the poem don't seem to connect very well with the rest of the poem. With the first two stanzas, you were talking about your perspectives on hardships, then suddenly, your next stanza shifts into talking about the little butterfly. I do see how you've attempted to interrelate the two seperate ideas, but I don't think it was connected well - the shift was too sudden. There must be a way to better connect these two seperate ideas into one whole consistent meaningful poem, so an improvement can still be done in my opinion.

    I think the poem has a really sweet touch to it, especially once you've sucessfully combined the two ideas. The last line is really good and I like the way it summed up your poem. It's definitely a great last line/stanza worthy of your poem. Keep it up!

  4. #4
    Otaku Lotski is off to a good start
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    Re: My Little Butterfly

    cool, i love butterflies.. it amazes me and you just made a
    poem that makes me love them more.. =)
    On the other hand, i agree with eleonne.
    you are trying to compare urself to the butterfly, am i right?
    in that case, add one more stanza to make a connection to the
    butterfly..
    I like it though, i see a butterfly now.. lol

    If you don't like me, it's mind over matter.
    I don't mind and you don't matter

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    Otaku bcvl1124 is off to a good start
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    Re: My Little Butterfly

    Wow! It's a very nice poem! Another inspiration for my story. One day when I finished my stories I will show you all. ^^;;

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    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: My Little Butterfly

    *sigh*... a wonderful poem... I don't really don't know what to say... you've made me speechless Rave... This poem even made me cry... A wondeful work, I just love it...



    Oh, and by the way:
    Quote Originally Posted by bcvl1124 View Post
    Wow! It's a very nice poem! Another inspiration for my story. One day when I finished my stories I will show you all. ^^;;
    I hope that one day comes soon!!! I'll be looking forward.

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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    Warrior Monk kedar may be famous one day kedar may be famous one day kedar's Avatar
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    Re: My Little Butterfly

    Quote Originally Posted by bcvl1124 View Post
    Wow! It's a very nice poem! Another inspiration for my story. One day when I finished my stories I will show you all. ^^;;
    Please do not revive threads that have been inactive for more than 2 weeks. Thank you!

    +Closing+

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