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Thread: My Love

  1. #1
    Otaku Star Girl may be famous one day Star Girl may be famous one day Star Girl's Avatar
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    My Love

    My eyes were startled by a brilliant light
    Something has begun to pierce my heart.
    When the evening shore turns red,
    sinking into the water, let it be extinguished.

    It's still warm, the body of dust still fresh
    I'll meet your eyes and look away
    I'll make hearts long and steal away your wits.
    Don't take him away from me
    To become his bride, I've emerged
    I will wait forever to be with you
    Let me live in a world of pleasure.
    Innocent and pure,
    So calm and so patient
    Softly call out; everyone will hear.
    Just touch my lips; they will see.
    Dance with me here in the spotlight
    Don't let a minute go by
    These moments won't wait for tomorrow.

  2. #2
    You's Trollin Pro Leafblower Champion, Helicopter Champion ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro's Avatar
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    Re: My Love

    *clap* kool peom Star Girl, keep it up.

  3. #3
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: My Love

    Hmm. I didnt like the way you phrased certain sentences. However, the overall piece is okay.
    Seduced by Flesh


  4. #4
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
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    Re: My Love

    Good job on this poem, it definitely has an originallity about it that can be ignored! Nice job!

  5. #5
    Newbie sergeant_rose may be famous one day sergeant_rose may be famous one day sergeant_rose's Avatar
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    Re: My Love

    sound the usuall love poems that i mostly read but i think it's nice

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