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Thread: (My love)

  1. Oct 30, 2007 01:28 PM #1
    !AngelicDemon201092
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    (My love)

    (My_love)

    When the day is so young
    And the dawn breaks though
    You are the one
    I love to talk to

    I stay up late
    All hours of the night
    Till the wee hours of the morning
    Where there’s barely any light

    I wait for your call
    For when it’s nighttime here
    You are up
    Because it is daytime there

    So tell me (my love)
    Is it the fact that I will wait for you
    That makes you say
    I love you too

    Or do you really mean it
    If that was the case
    You’d think you wouldn’t mind
    Telling everyone in this place

    So why do you hide it
    Why don’t you want them to know
    The way you feel inside
    Or is what you’ve done now that low

    alright.. this is my first poem where i forced myself to ryme continuously... so ... what do you think?
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  2. Oct 30, 2007 01:38 PM #2
    highteckdudu
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    Re: (My love)

    I think that is sad, you wait for his call, he must be long distance! Well great wording, i usually dont ryme in any of my poems, nice job as always! Keep up the work. you'll have to let me know when you get more up!
    I tryed to see things from your point of view but i cant seem to get my head that far up my ass!
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  3. Oct 30, 2007 01:41 PM #3
    Lasura
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    Re: (My love)

    It's nice... and the ryming didn't stick in your eyes, like it usually does and that's very good ^^

    And I love the way you put your thoughts in a poem... it's just great... I've never really been able to just write a poem about something, I need inspiration....

    I really enjoyed reading this and hope to see more. ^^

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  4. Oct 30, 2007 04:23 PM #4
    Astaroth
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    Re: (My love)

    Loved it!!!!!!!!
    Exceptionally good words!!!!!!!!!!!
    DO NOT MAKE ME UNLEASH MY INNER DEMON
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  5. Oct 30, 2007 07:58 PM #5
    RayMe
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    Re: (My love)

    Quote Originally Posted by Lasura
    And I love the way you put your thoughts in a poem... it's just great... I've never really been able to just write a poem about something, I need inspiration....
    i could help

    Yup... good way with wording there i like it too ^^ keep up the good work!
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  6. Oct 30, 2007 08:52 PM #6
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    Re: (My love)

    It was wonderful. And the ryme was pretty good as well.
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  7. Oct 31, 2007 06:46 AM #7
    !AngelicDemon201092
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    Re: (My love)

    Thanks you guys. ^-^ Well i'm glad it didn't turn out as bad as i thought. ^-^
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  8. Oct 31, 2007 06:50 AM #8
    RayMe
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    Re: (My love)

    your a good poet.. why'd you say such a thing? have more faith in your talent ^^ and keep up the good work

    would love to read more of yours ^^
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