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Thread: my poems

  1. #1
    Newbie teardrops may be famous one day teardrops may be famous one day teardrops's Avatar
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    my poems

    these are 2 poems i just wrote, ill keep posting my new ones here!! Hope you like them!!Personaly, i like the first one more!!!

    Sadness
    Sadness lives in the alleys of the hurt and lonely, dark, and rough, and cold,
    Sadness tastes sweet, but sharp, like swallowing chocolate-coated nails
    Sadness is gray and black, like the shadows of the night
    Sadness is in the closets stuffed with the darkest sorrows and fright
    Sadness listens to slow classical music
    Sadness lives in a dark and lonely, rundown house, where a shard of light can barely peak through the cracks of wood
    Sadness sulks beneath the shadows
    Sadness is like crows, flying through the moonlit sky
    Sadness sounds like a faint mumble among earthquakes
    Sadness is cold , colder than the rain that falls
    Sadness can be found in the blackness of midnight
    Sadness is that darkness, and cold heart that is winter
    Sadness walks beneath us all, in our shadows, limping now and then
    Put sadness in a closet but do not lock the door, do not turn your back on it
    For without sadness there is no happiness


    Courage
    Courage lives in anyone and everywhere
    Courage tastes like strong German chocolate
    Courage is blue and red like the fire that burned
    Courage is at the threshold, protecting all in the home from what lies on the other side of the door, where things are better not learned
    Courage listens to a strong, valiant war poem
    Courage lives in a well-kept home
    Courage walks upright, with confidence and surety
    Courage is like a lion, fierce and eager
    Courage sounds like the pounding of thunder across a parched moor
    Courage is warm enough to tan, but cold enough to rain
    Courage can be found in the early morning sunrise, within the fog
    Courage is the spring where all is bright and more is found
    Courage swims in the ocean, waiting to emerge from the waters deep
    Find courage, somewhere deep inside, and embrace
    it with open arms
    Pain is just a state of mind. So get over it.

  2. #2
    Otaku Arnys Battle 2 Champion sora the king of dreams may be famous one day sora the king of dreams may be famous one day sora the king of dreams's Avatar
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    Re: my poems

    wow you have alot of courage and sadness

    well any way that was good.

    I live in the shadows and I am as fast as the speed of light, but I use my ability's to help people even though they fear me for who I am.

    A Brand new Theme song for all my friends who use to come to Ao and the People that still come's to Ao.
    http://video.freevideoblog.com/hotte...7631ca1c2a.htm

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    Re: my poems

    Actually, i did the Courage one for a school project, and wrote the saddness one with some of the lines from a song i wrote.
    Pain is just a state of mind. So get over it.

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    Otaku The Fighter may be famous one day The Fighter may be famous one day The Fighter's Avatar
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    Re: my poems

    Some good lines in the poems, but at the same time some that dont make sence to me,

    Courage is warm enough to tan, but cold enough to rain
    I dont understand what that means?
    -----------------------------Double Post Merge---------------------------------------------
    Actually I kind of understand the warm enought to tan part but not the whole rain and cold thing..
    Last edited by The Fighter; May 18, 2006 at 12:06 PM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost

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    Devoted Otaku Nympho may be famous one day Nympho may be famous one day Nympho's Avatar
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    Re: my poems

    I can't say i actually like the whole setup of your poems. Using the same word in a consecutive sense is actually a drag. Try not to focus on the feeling but the flow. Like a song about love doesnt have to actually say love at all. But by the flow and the enriched text put into a thought of subject gives it the feeling. I hope i make sense. Try to create what you were making in those poems with out actually using the words "sadness" and "courage".

    I'm a glass child. I am Hannah's regrets. Monster.

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    Newbie teardrops may be famous one day teardrops may be famous one day teardrops's Avatar
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    Re: my poems

    Again it was a school project, and i know i should have revised it but im too lazy.
    Oh, and that line (courage is warm enough to tan but could enough to rain) means that it is cold as when raining, but warm enough to give you a tan. Basicaly, what i was tryin to say was that it can be nice but also i burden. Oh, and by the way, we had to answer certain questions in a outline that our teacher gave us, i bet if you realy looked at the lines you could guess what the questions were. Oh, and i have another few poems comin!!
    Pain is just a state of mind. So get over it.

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    Re: my poems

    Chaos or Confusion?

    nothing seems to fit
    i'm a puzzle missing half its peices
    my mind is in a halt
    everything is numb
    it is all a blank
    my words dont fit together
    my letters are a blur

    sitting up
    late at night
    starring at the sky
    nothing feels the same
    my heart is full of pain

    stand on a bridge
    as it breaks
    tumbling
    to your living funeral
    no one no where can help
    this heart that is dead

    leave me alone
    i have no home
    let me be
    i'll die alone
    in the oceans full of chaos
    in the skies of the confused
    now leave me alone


    I Wonder
    I wonder why we live to die
    why we laugh
    why we cry
    just to end up dieing

    live life to the fullest
    always means the same
    to leave life behind

    do live to die
    to cry
    to care
    to share

    some live a life of shame
    just to end it all the same
    some live life just to live
    they feel they need to give and give
    but they all end up the same
    some live life just tlo live
    some feel they need to give and give
    but they all end up the same
    but most fell no pain or doubt
    in leaving life behind
    Pain is just a state of mind. So get over it.

  8. #8
    Elie Jelly elie26 may be famous one day elie26 may be famous one day elie26's Avatar
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    Re: my poems

    for the 1st two poems, i shall have to agree with Nympho...because i never actually like over repeating poems as it makes things seem real boring. However i do like the part where u explain courage is also a burden, true words.

    now, for the last 2...
    the meanings are quite clear, death and all..
    but as i've said before, there are parts where it repeats itself over n over again although there was a clear difference between ur 1st two....which means improvement ^^ so there ya go, sorry if anything i said offended u. i was being honest and hope the others would to(refering to my work)

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