my second poem (Don't be to hard on it ^^;;;)

Forgotten soul · Mar 25, 2007, 09:39 PM

~Rage~
You seek other lost souls
Ones that will feed your anger
Blood on your hands feels warm
Red stirs your heart's rage
Lifting you head you sing
To the sepulchral moon
Hiding behind dark clouds
You slip silently into shadows
Unseen but felt
Like a half-remembered nightmare
That causes chills to run
Up and down my spine.

I see you everyday on the street
On the bus, in the store
In my dreams
I see your rage,
I feel your rage,
Your rage batters my body,
Your rage batters my mind,
Your rage kills my spirit
It dies every night
Beneath you.

*Rave_Grip* · Mar 26, 2007, 12:12 AM

What is the poem based on? ^_^ It's a nice poem with a rhythm to it.

CherryBlossom18 · Mar 26, 2007, 12:24 AM

I agree with rave grip. It's nice poem,but I'm having a hard time with what it's based on.

Forgotten soul · Mar 26, 2007, 12:29 AM

This poem is base on
Song: Open Wounds
Artist: Skillet
I was listening to their song and I just had to write this poem

*RayMe* · Mar 26, 2007, 08:47 AM

another poem based on a song.. sheesh how did u guys made 1 out of a song? :/

well nice poem there ^^ but i never heard this song b4... hmm...

Forgotten soul · Mar 26, 2007, 10:39 AM

@RayMe,
how we make a poem out of a song?
it's simple you just listen to the beat and don't listen to the singer.
Just think about the beat and what it means that's how I do it

*Kasai* · Mar 26, 2007, 03:21 PM

I think.. Instead of trying to be more dramatic with the use of short sentences, you need to be more dramatic with the use of words in the sentences instead.

Mar 25, 2007, 09:39 PM	#1 (permalink)
Forgotten soul Newbie Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 67 Thanks: 1 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 133	my second poem (Don't be to hard on it ^^;;;) ~Rage~ You seek other lost souls Ones that will feed your anger Blood on your hands feels warm Red stirs your heart's rage Lifting you head you sing To the sepulchral moon Hiding behind dark clouds You slip silently into shadows Unseen but felt Like a half-remembered nightmare That causes chills to run Up and down my spine. I see you everyday on the street On the bus, in the store In my dreams I see your rage, I feel your rage, Your rage batters my body, Your rage batters my mind, Your rage kills my spirit It dies every night Beneath you. __________________
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Mar 26, 2007, 12:12 AM	#2 (permalink)
Rave_Grip I hate idiots on AO. Kill Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Life is an illusion. Posts: 2,314 Thanks: 0 Thanked 11 Times in 11 Posts Credits: 14,832	Re: my second poem(Don't be to hard on it ^^;;;) What is the poem based on? ^_^ It's a nice poem with a rhythm to it. __________________ Wherever you see, there is always 98% of people who love something; and 2% that don't. I'm pretty sure that not ALL 98% of peeps don't support Lolita or anything. So if you agree, put it in your sig. \| .:~My AO Gallery~:. \| \| .:~The AO Rules~:. \|
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Mar 26, 2007, 12:24 AM	#3 (permalink)
CherryBlossom18 Heavy Metal Goddess Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: a place where the stars shine as bright as the sun Posts: 578 Thanks: 1 Thanked 16 Times in 16 Posts Credits: 2,326	Re: my second poem(Don't be to hard on it ^^;;;) I agree with rave grip. It's nice poem,but I'm having a hard time with what it's based on. __________________ "Sunset Kisses Along The Beach" Made for me by HolderofTheDarkChalice Thanks so much I love it!
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Mar 26, 2007, 12:29 AM	#4 (permalink)
Forgotten soul Newbie Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 67 Thanks: 1 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 133	Re: my second poem(Don't be to hard on it ^^;;;) This poem is base on Song: Open Wounds Artist: Skillet I was listening to their song and I just had to write this poem __________________
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Mar 26, 2007, 08:47 AM	#5 (permalink)
RayMe 1 )3^^( )N Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Somewhere i would love to leave right now for somewhere better... Posts: 3,601 Thanks: 54 Thanked 26 Times in 23 Posts Credits: 59,118	Re: my second poem(Don't be to hard on it ^^;;;) another poem based on a song.. sheesh how did u guys made 1 out of a song? :/ well nice poem there ^^ but i never heard this song b4... hmm... __________________ Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!! The best ever Lasura~! >>>myspace<<<
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Mar 26, 2007, 10:39 AM	#6 (permalink)
Forgotten soul Newbie Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 67 Thanks: 1 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 133	Re: my second poem(Don't be to hard on it ^^;;;) @RayMe, how we make a poem out of a song? it's simple you just listen to the beat and don't listen to the singer. Just think about the beat and what it means that's how I do it __________________
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Mar 26, 2007, 03:21 PM	#7 (permalink)
Kasai Domme Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Florida Posts: 2,745 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 1,490	Re: my second poem(Don't be to hard on it ^^;;;) I think.. Instead of trying to be more dramatic with the use of short sentences, you need to be more dramatic with the use of words in the sentences instead. __________________ Seduced by Flesh
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