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Thread: My Smile

  1. May 29, 2006 08:12 AM #1
    Othello
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    My Smile

    Can you see through my smile?
    I'm trying so hard.
    Is it cracked, broken. I will try harder,
    No still?
    It's so hard to keep this smiled plastered here
    upon my face.
    So hard not to Frown,
    Is this what you want.
    A smile, never wavering?
    If that is it, my smile continues...
    Even if i want to cry....
    I need to smile to hide the pain,
    I need you to keep me sane.
    Name it, and its yours.
    I'll give you anything.
    But please don't ask me to smile anymore.
    I'd do anything for you,
    i will hide my pain from you
    Please tell me to hate you...
    Be cruel, be mean. Please do this one thing for me.
    Maybe then i can finally cease to love you...

    <not really a poem...but its a personal thing to me. Very close to my heart. Comments please and critisizm is always excepted.>
    Last edited by Othello; May 29, 2006 at 08:18 AM.
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  2. May 29, 2006 08:24 AM #2
    royal cutie pain
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    Re: My Smile

    its nice, how u opened up like that.

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  3. May 29, 2006 08:24 AM #3
    Reese
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    Re: My Smile

    lol. I can kinda relate to this. ^_^

    Meaningless smiles hidden behind un-noticed souls. Exactly how I feel on most days. Wearing a smile just to keep society happy.....
    HOwever I got a little lost towards the end. ..... It would hav been better if u mentioned wat was said in the last statement throughout the poem. Just 2 elaborate on the true purpose. Well thats my opinion at least.

    It was great though. You'll improve. ^_^
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  4. May 29, 2006 08:49 AM #4
    Blade X
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    Re: My Smile

    requesting to take tht mask off............asking ppl around u to take those damn foolish masks off......it's more of a mish mash of wut ur feeling at the moment..not of as good as ur poem I Died a Death but still alright...keep improving tho.

    Thanks for the siggy Ky-lyrra
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  5. May 29, 2006 09:00 AM #5
    Othello
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    Re: My Smile

    ^BladeX: Yeah i think this ones confuseing...even for me. i JUST wrote it when i was typing it down lmao. But what the heck i suppose. And like i said below the said "poem", its not exactly a poem...more of a letter like quality i guess lol.
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  6. May 29, 2006 10:22 AM #6
    Elreka
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    Re: My Smile

    God Guy can't u stop riting these awsome poems? well it is good...not good great...ok bye (i can't think)
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  7. May 29, 2006 10:27 AM #7
    karinka
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    Re: My Smile

    It's a very good poem with no grammer mistakes. keep up the good work.

    Got bored on Photoshop so I did this xD
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  8. May 30, 2006 12:57 PM #8
    Chanzor
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    Re: My Smile

    Nice poem you are very talented. Good job!
    Channy
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