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May 29, 2006, 08:12 AM
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 Diamond in the Rough  Join Date: May 2006 Location: Between the reaches of ones heart, mind and soul...where only a small light lingers.
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 Credits: 770 | My Smile Can you see through my smile? I'm trying so hard. Is it cracked, broken. I will try harder, No still? It's so hard to keep this smiled plastered here upon my face. So hard not to Frown, Is this what you want. A smile, never wavering? If that is it, my smile continues... Even if i want to cry.... I need to smile to hide the pain, I need you to keep me sane. Name it, and its yours. I'll give you anything. But please don't ask me to smile anymore. I'd do anything for you, i will hide my pain from you Please tell me to hate you... Be cruel, be mean. Please do this one thing for me. Maybe then i can finally cease to love you... <not really a poem...but its a personal thing to me. Very close to my heart. Comments please and critisizm is always excepted.>
__________________  Thanks Mischievious Kiss. Last edited by Othello; May 29, 2006 at 08:18 AM. |
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May 29, 2006, 08:24 AM
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| Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: "Enigma"
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Credits: 1,158 | Re: My Smile lol. I can kinda relate to this. ^_^ Meaningless smiles hidden behind un-noticed souls.  Exactly how I feel on most days. Wearing a smile just to keep society happy..... HOwever I got a little lost towards the end.  ..... It would hav been better if u mentioned wat was said in the last statement throughout the poem. Just 2 elaborate on the true purpose. Well thats my opinion at least.It was great though. You'll improve. ^_^
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May 29, 2006, 08:49 AM
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  AO's Demon Slayer  Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Protecting my loved one.
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Credits: 1,446 | Re: My Smile requesting to take tht mask off............asking ppl around u to take those damn foolish masks off......it's more of a mish mash of wut ur feeling at the moment..not of as good as ur poem I Died a Death but still alright...keep improving tho.
__________________  Thanks for the siggy Ky-lyrra |
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May 29, 2006, 09:00 AM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Diamond in the Rough Join Date: May 2006 Location: Between the reaches of ones heart, mind and soul...where only a small light lingers.
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Credits: 770 | Re: My Smile ^BladeX: Yeah i think this ones confuseing...even for me. i JUST wrote it when i was typing it down lmao. But what the heck i suppose. And like i said below the said "poem", its not exactly a poem...more of a letter like quality i guess lol.
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May 29, 2006, 10:27 AM
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| Diamond in the Rough  Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Now Currently Collecting Fire Quells
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Credits: 358 | Re: My Smile It's a very good poem with no grammer mistakes. keep up the good work. 
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