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Thread: my untitled poem

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    Newbie unknown&uncaredfor may be famous one day unknown&uncaredfor may be famous one day
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    my untitled poem

    What happened to the girl
    Who promised me these things
    Who wanted her life with me
    Who wanted me

    What happened to the girl
    Who said she loved me
    Who promised happiness
    Who I held in my arms

    I know what happened to this girl
    She ran away from me,
    Betrayed me,
    And hated me

    Her once warm heart now turned cold
    And no longer was I welcome
    Now she has no one,
    To tell her that they love her and she is alone



    my buddy is EternalNaraku77 we wrote some poems together and showed me this site. this poem is my own work so i still thank him for all my work with or with out his input. if people want to hear the story behind the poem, tell me and i will start a thread with the stroy in detail.

  2. #2
    Newbie EternalNaraku77 may be famous one day EternalNaraku77 may be famous one day
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    Re: my untitled poem

    great poem man especially since i kinda know what happened

  3. #3
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: my untitled poem

    same here very cool poem and i like the fact you used reality in the poem
    i think rea;ity based poems are the based and i thnik love sucks when it comes to kids who mistake infatuaion for love wich is what happend with her
    she didnt know what love was it was just infatuation
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  4. #4
    ~ beri-chan ~ hamu-hamu may be famous one day hamu-hamu may be famous one day hamu-hamu's Avatar
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    Re: my untitled poem

    This is a really sad poem. Its really touching. Im sorry for what actually happened...


  5. #5
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: my untitled poem

    The poems has great potential. In fact, it's good frame work to start something else. I saw words and I like those words. However, I didnt get teh emotion you were trying to ocnvey in those words. Vivid words and elaboration would make the poem even better.
    Seduced by Flesh


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    Newbie Imhiei may be famous one day Imhiei may be famous one day Imhiei's Avatar
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    Re: my untitled poem

    that is a really great poem it sounds like youve been hurt

    ive got my eyez on you

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    Bored college student fayt lingod may be famous one day fayt lingod may be famous one day fayt lingod's Avatar
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    Re: my untitled poem

    awesome poem, keep up the good work. and Imhiei, i love your sig, kurama and Yoko-jkurama are som of my fav anime characters.

    thanks to zyta for the sick sig and avy!

  8. #8
    Newbie Imhiei may be famous one day Imhiei may be famous one day Imhiei's Avatar
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    Re: my untitled poem

    Quote Originally Posted by fayt lingod View Post
    awesome poem, keep up the good work. and Imhiei, i love your sig, kurama and Yoko-jkurama are som of my fav anime characters.
    thanks and i really love this poem

    ive got my eyez on you

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