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Thread: My wish....

  1. Oct 26, 2007 05:34 PM #1
    !AngelicDemon201092
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    My wish....

    My wish....

    I wish
    The pain would go away
    Of knowing that you’re hurt

    I wish
    The misery in you heart
    That I put there

    I wish
    The suffering your going though
    Would just disappear

    I wish
    The lies of people around me
    To just stop making me doubt

    I wish
    The conversation I had that one day
    To just go away

    I wish
    The things he said to make me believe
    That he was better for me

    Yet even if I wish these things
    You’ll still be gone
    So if I had one wish
    You’d be with me again
    Last edited by AngelicDemon201092; Oct 27, 2007 at 12:04 PM.
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  2. Oct 27, 2007 12:00 PM #2
    Astaroth
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    Re: My wish....

    Nicely done!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Love the words......and the unique way of the rhyme!!!!!!!!!
    DO NOT MAKE ME UNLEASH MY INNER DEMON
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  3. Oct 27, 2007 03:14 PM #3
    Tifa Lockhart
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    Re: My wish....

    A nice little poem. My suggestion...Make it a little more complex. Try adding more imagery to it.
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  4. Oct 27, 2007 03:29 PM #4
    ibelongtohim
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    Re: My wish....

    nice work!!!!!! luv it!!!! luv to hear from u more!!!
    "
    love is an emotion that flows through everyone no matter who or where you are"
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  5. Oct 27, 2007 07:20 PM #5
    RayMe
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    Re: My wish....

    agreed with tifa

    oh yes... nice work indeed ^^ i like it too... it's simple..
    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
    I'm BACK AO!
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  6. Oct 28, 2007 01:37 PM #6
    !AngelicDemon201092
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    Re: My wish....

    Okay.. Thanks for the feedback you guys. ^-^ I'll write more for you.. ^-^
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