+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: To Myself

  1. #1
    I'm sleepy... Jukebox Hero Champion, Word Up Champion, Word Craze Champion gren may be famous one day gren may be famous one day gren's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    863
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 29 Times in 24 Posts

    To Myself

    This is my first poem posted on AO, so I want to hear honest opinions. Love it, hate it, don't give a flying crap...let me know.

    To Myself

    Forgive me, little girl
    say we'd have ended up here
    anyway
    or else we'll die here
    anyway
    or else everything you wanted
    everything I need
    will remain a dream
    will vanish in the smoke of failure
    Say there's still hope, little girl
    tell me we can go back
    tell me this isn't it
    If you say it
    if you want it so
    I'll fight
    I'll give you that life
    I'll make you proud, little girl
    Just stay by me
    keep your voice in my ear
    and I'll make you proud, little girl
    sig by Pyro Psycho

  2. #2
    Heavy Metal Goddess CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    a place where the stars shine as bright as the sun
    Posts
    578
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 16 Times in 16 Posts

    Re: To Myself

    It is a nice poem and not bad for your first post. It sounded kinda sweet. Good job.
    "Sunset Kisses Along The Beach"
    Made for me by HolderofTheDarkChalice
    Thanks so much I love it!

  3. #3
    Rawr~ :3 Boxteroid Champion, flyplane Champion, Home Run Champion, Bubbelfutsch Champion, Fire Fighter Champion, Brendans Soccer Champion, Movie Star Match-Up Champion, Total blackout Champion, Text Your Reflexes Champion, Scary movie Champion, Hulk Smash Up Champion, Star Wars Champion, Extreme Snowboarding Champion, Air Disc Champion, Action Fish Champion, A Game Of 3 Halves Champion, Battleball Champion, Hacky Sack Champion, FAD 2003 Champion, SQRL Golf Champion, Dr Yeckyl and Mr Ride Champion, Sky Glide Champion, Flyer Champion, Finnair Champion, Drachenjagd Champion, Canyon Glider Champion, City Surfing Champion, Action Driving Game Champion, Extreme Rowing Champion, Kardahdg Champion, Acceleracers Track Mod Champion, Final Test Champion, Du Wichtel Champion, Pedal Power Champion, Camera Killer 2 Champion, Bike Mania on ICE Champion, ATV Winter Challenge Champion, Caliber Dash Champion, Diesel and Death Champion, Snow Ride Champion, Camera Killer Champion, Pepsi Jet Ski Champion, Bumper Cars Championship Champion, Drifting Champion, Get A Grip Champion, Rooney on the Rampage Champion, Death To Ninja Champion, Kung Fu Hustle 2 Champion, Muay Thai Champion, Metal Arm FAWEGE Champion, Knife Champion, Classroom Fighter Champion, Nobuyuki Forces 3 Champion, Caddeva Champion, Sewer Dweller Champion, Angel Mart Champion, Snowy Champion, Bola Champion, Boiler Room Champion, Bobcat Champion, Amazon Quest Champion, Booty Champion, Five Errors Champion, Mind Your Marbles Champion, Angel Fruit Champion, Binggrae Champion, Candy Shoot Champion, Imperial tiles Champion, Himalayaya - Yeti Strikes Back Champion, Terrorist Attack Champion, Americas Army Champion, Special Operations Champion, Destroy the robots Champion, Cubicle Warfare Champion, Battle Field Champion, Weapons Dealer Champion, Army Copter Champion, Flat War Champion, Terrorist Alert Champion, Bully Basher Champion, Reaktor Champion, Bungee Rescue Champion, The Contraptor Champion, Boris Champion, Carling Cold Champion, Paddleball Champion RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Not somewhere I love but I am glad I have a home so far
    Posts
    3,804
    Thanks
    82
    Thanked 61 Times in 56 Posts

    Re: To Myself

    Hmm rather a sweet poem.. but it lacks imagination but it was nice ^^
    ..im not good about the rhyme and stuff... don't ask me bout this

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
    I'm BACK AO!
    >>>facebook<<<

  4. #4
    Elie Jelly elie26 may be famous one day elie26 may be famous one day elie26's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Hell is an understatement
    Posts
    593
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Re: To Myself

    The "anyway" part seemed a bit strange for me. And it does lack imaginative descriptions. Other than that an OK poem.

  5. #5
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,736
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: To Myself

    Gren, this is was really sweet. I loved it. I cant really write like this, so congrats for mastering it.
    Seduced by Flesh


  6. #6
    I'm sleepy... Jukebox Hero Champion, Word Up Champion, Word Craze Champion gren may be famous one day gren may be famous one day gren's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    863
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 29 Times in 24 Posts

    Re: To Myself

    Thanks all. I appreciate any constructive criticism (though I did balk a bit at "lacks imagination" ).

    Glad you enjoyed it Kasai!
    sig by Pyro Psycho

+ Reply to Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts