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Thread: Mystery of the soul

  1. #1
    Newbie Dandoria may be famous one day Dandoria may be famous one day Dandoria's Avatar
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    Mystery of the soul

    Hi there fellas,

    As a few of you requested, I wrote an English poem beside my regular Dutch ones and I now post it here. Maybe it's a little short, but I didn't want to force it longer. I hope you like it.


    The dark has long been in my mind,
    But with a glance of eye
    She tells me I will be alright;
    We won’t yet say goodbye.

    For mortals always seek a way
    To find their very souls;
    Yet as time flows, they find delay
    And do not reach their goal.

    In order to discover truth
    And satisfy desire,
    We wait for a flower to bloom;
    To admire and be admired.

    Realizing, take my hand;
    Love we can not understand.


    Can you see the thoughts behind it? If too many people mention they don't really understand what it says, I'll explain.
    Last edited by Dandoria; Sep 21, 2006 at 11:11 AM.

    - Darehan ci darevur -

  2. #2
    Newbie Lost_Love may be famous one day Lost_Love may be famous one day Lost_Love's Avatar
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    Re: Mystery of the soul

    ooooooooo I LUUFFFFF IT SO MANY ITS NOT FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    but for real i like it lots i can understand some of it but the middel sortof confusses mhey...but for real i luff yuu forever for writing this poem!!!! <3 ok tey bye bye now -runns away-
    there are no raindrops on roses but there are still tears in my eyes...

  3. #3
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: Mystery of the soul

    The dark has long been in my mind,
    But with a glance of eye
    She tells me I will be alright;
    We won’t yet say goodbye.


    I'm not liking the transformation from You, to another person, then to we. And you continue the we pattern through out the poem. I wouldve preferred to read a better transitioning poem.
    Seduced by Flesh


  4. #4
    Newbie Dandoria may be famous one day Dandoria may be famous one day Dandoria's Avatar
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    Re: Mystery of the soul

    To be honest is no sin. You've got a point there, for yourself at least. I personally find it no problem - but that doesn't matter! Always be critic! It was my first attempt to write an English poem, after all. I wouldn't possibly think it were perfect (although Lost_Love appears to think so). I do have other poems, but they're Dutch... (darned language)

    - Darehan ci darevur -

  5. #5
    Otaku Pride_Edward may be famous one day Pride_Edward may be famous one day Pride_Edward's Avatar
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    Re: Mystery of the soul

    Hmm...its alright if the poem is short atleast it is meaningful. I love this poem...

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