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Old Sep 21, 2006, 11:09 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Mystery of the soul

Hi there fellas,

As a few of you requested, I wrote an English poem beside my regular Dutch ones and I now post it here. Maybe it's a little short, but I didn't want to force it longer. I hope you like it.


The dark has long been in my mind,
But with a glance of eye
She tells me I will be alright;
We won’t yet say goodbye.

For mortals always seek a way
To find their very souls;
Yet as time flows, they find delay
And do not reach their goal.

In order to discover truth
And satisfy desire,
We wait for a flower to bloom;
To admire and be admired.

Realizing, take my hand;
Love we can not understand.


Can you see the thoughts behind it? If too many people mention they don't really understand what it says, I'll explain.
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Last edited by Dandoria; Sep 21, 2006 at 11:11 AM.
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Old Sep 21, 2006, 01:05 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Mystery of the soul

ooooooooo I LUUFFFFF IT SO MANY ITS NOT FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but for real i like it lots i can understand some of it but the middel sortof confusses mhey...but for real i luff yuu forever for writing this poem!!!! <3 ok tey bye bye now -runns away-
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Old Sep 21, 2006, 03:44 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Mystery of the soul

The dark has long been in my mind,
But with a glance of eye
She tells me I will be alright;
We won’t yet say goodbye.


I'm not liking the transformation from You, to another person, then to we. And you continue the we pattern through out the poem. I wouldve preferred to read a better transitioning poem.
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Old Sep 22, 2006, 11:21 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Mystery of the soul

To be honest is no sin. You've got a point there, for yourself at least. I personally find it no problem - but that doesn't matter! Always be critic! It was my first attempt to write an English poem, after all. I wouldn't possibly think it were perfect (although Lost_Love appears to think so). I do have other poems, but they're Dutch... (darned language)
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Old Sep 23, 2006, 12:38 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Mystery of the soul

Hmm...its alright if the poem is short atleast it is meaningful. I love this poem...
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