+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 2 of 2

Thread: N/a

  1. #1
    Otaku Dragons2801 is off to a good start Dragons2801's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    in a place beyond the reaches of time, gripped with sorow, pain driving everything to insanity.
    Posts
    136
    Thanks
    25
    Thanked 28 Times in 26 Posts

    N/a

    I now wander.
    Within the shadows of my past.
    Hoping that these feelings last.
    But I wonder?

    Should have I broken away
    Away from those I cared about
    For now I am without
    keeping the anguish at bay

    But my dreams have darkened
    My thoughts became clouded
    For these reasons I have doubted
    That the good is not counted

    Yet something around me says different
    Speaking in riddle ever so silent
    Staiting the good and bad
    But in the end all end up sad

    Yet everything lives
    Everything dies
    At the end nothing survives

    i would like to have your opinions upon this subject the poem brings up. and if you could tell me how i could make it better.

    within the darkened realm of the mind, is endless shadows, wrenching pain, warming love, and burning desires.

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to Dragons2801 For This Useful Post:

    kingmustang (Sep 23, 2010)

  3. #2
    Newbie kingmustang is off to a good start kingmustang's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    North ID
    Posts
    55
    Thanks
    66
    Thanked 22 Times in 21 Posts

    Re: N/a

    Quote Originally Posted by Dragons2801 View Post
    I now wander.
    Within the shadows of my past.
    Hoping that these feelings last.
    But I wonder?

    Should have I broken away
    Away from those I cared about
    For now I am without
    keeping the anguish at bay

    But my dreams have darkened
    My thoughts became clouded
    For these reasons I have doubted
    That the good is not counted

    Yet something around me says different
    Speaking in riddle ever so silent
    Staiting the good and bad
    But in the end all end up sad

    Yet everything lives
    Everything dies
    At the end nothing survives

    i would like to have your opinions upon this subject the poem brings up. and if you could tell me how i could make it better.
    I liked it a lot good job Tho you could try this:

    I now wander.
    Within the shadows of my past.
    Hoping that these feelings last.
    But I wonder?

    Should have I broken away?
    Away from those I cared about?
    keeping the anguish at bay
    For now I am without
    Fighting back this regret
    Wondering if I want to just forget

    But my dreams have darkened
    My thoughts became clouded
    For these reasons I have doubted
    That the good is not counted

    Yet something around me says different
    Speaking in riddle ever so silent
    Staiting the good and bad
    The peaceful and the violent
    But in the end all end up sad

    Yet everything lives
    Everything dies
    At the end nothing survives

    But that is just a thought, you know how I am I look at something and the ideas start coming and coming lol
    Sword in hand, fire in heart, I walk towards my future just playing my part.
    The school of the undefeated East! The winds of the king! Zenshin! Keiretsu! Tempa! Kyoran! Look! The East is burning red!” (G Gundam)
    Ride Fast, Live Free & Stay strong.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to kingmustang For This Useful Post:

    Dragons2801 (Sep 24, 2010)

+ Reply to Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts