Never Alone

*HolderOfTheDarkChalice* · Nov 08, 2006, 12:33 AM

As she stands in the grass with the
wind blowing in her face no one can
hear her as she scream's that silent
rage at the world, feeling no one cares
or even knows that she is only wanting
peace with in.

A friend walks by and he said hello
she smiled with a tear knowing he might
help all he did was stand there and offere her
his kindness, she rejected it from fear not knowing
what that was, he walked away with a smile knowing
she would be fine soon .

Weeks went by as she stood there still
this time her tears couldn't fall anymore
the uncaring world just watched as
she faded, he came by once again this
time he offered his heart to her because
he had been where she she is now.

Then it happened he never gave up on her
he kept his promise never letting her go
and held her in his arms as the sun went down
as she smiles with tears of joy.

this poem is for Julia she really is an awesome
person i know i still need work with my punctuations
and grammar and my stanza's still suck but this
is for her and hope her days of feeling bad will soon be
over. and the poem its self is to prove no matter
how alone you feel or how uncared for you feel
some one will care for you no matter how the winds of
change blow.

LouisaDeztini · Nov 08, 2006, 12:46 AM

Yeah... You still have the same problem as your previous poem, the 'flow'. I guess its quite different for you huh? Don't change it to suit others, make sure you keep your distinct style. It had a slight 'edge' to it. Go Chris! Lolz...

You have that knack of... how do I explain. Making people understand the poem easily, with no extra hidden meanings, ok, maybe there is, but my friends agree that its really good, besides the grammar etc. By the way,
stanze1, line three, "scream" should be 'screams'

Was it done on the spot? You should go through the poem a few times to make sure the grammar is passable.

Twisted Fate · Nov 08, 2006, 02:54 AM

*sniffs* Awh..its really a great poem! its sweet and sad...

*HolderOfTheDarkChalice* · Nov 08, 2006, 02:59 AM

thanks im glad you lboth liked it and i will work with my
grammer they should have grammer check along with
spellcheckm till i get better at it lol,and im glad you understand it
i will go back and see what elese need work ,thans for the sugeestions
and comments

*Kasai* · Nov 08, 2006, 03:01 AM

Weee. A wonderful poem indeed. The wording rolls off your mind and the content keeps you interested. Good poem!

Sincere · Nov 08, 2006, 06:05 AM

Wow Chris, thank you that was really good. I appreciate that a lot, I really do. That was cool.

I liked how you wrote it too. Your description was nice.

Shippo101 · Nov 08, 2006, 06:24 AM

wow that was awesome dude and i really hope to see more of your work.

BlueFox1 · Nov 10, 2006, 05:36 AM

Awesome poem Bro! I almost missed this one, and the thought process behind this one is awesome it really keeps you hooked! Excellent job on this one!

*HolderOfTheDarkChalice* · Nov 10, 2006, 05:39 AM

thanks im glad you liked it and i was in oine of those moods where i was feeling alone and my best freind pulled me out of it she is awesome like that.
im glad you liked it though

*ketaro* · Nov 10, 2006, 06:17 AM

Nice one HolderOfTheDarkChalice. How do you get inspired to write poems like this one? Are they based on personal experience in life or they just pop up in your head?

*HolderOfTheDarkChalice* · Nov 10, 2006, 06:31 AM

both actually but more from just my head when i hear a certain noise or sound
really not sure hwo to expalin it ,but its a mixture of both

Nov 08, 2006, 12:33 AM	#1 (permalink)
HolderOfTheDarkChalice Tournaments Won: 1 King Of Darkness Join Date: May 2006 Location: someplace where the only light is the moon above Posts: 2,795 Thanks: 21 Thanked 20 Times in 19 Posts Credits: 3,212	Never Alone As she stands in the grass with the wind blowing in her face no one can hear her as she scream's that silent rage at the world, feeling no one cares or even knows that she is only wanting peace with in. A friend walks by and he said hello she smiled with a tear knowing he might help all he did was stand there and offere her his kindness, she rejected it from fear not knowing what that was, he walked away with a smile knowing she would be fine soon . Weeks went by as she stood there still this time her tears couldn't fall anymore the uncaring world just watched as she faded, he came by once again this time he offered his heart to her because he had been where she she is now. Then it happened he never gave up on her he kept his promise never letting her go and held her in his arms as the sun went down as she smiles with tears of joy. this poem is for Julia she really is an awesome person i know i still need work with my punctuations and grammar and my stanza's still suck but this is for her and hope her days of feeling bad will soon be over. and the poem its self is to prove no matter how alone you feel or how uncared for you feel some one will care for you no matter how the winds of change blow. __________________ thanks mellow your sig is top notch http://www.animeonline.net/links/ Last edited by HolderOfTheDarkChalice; Nov 08, 2006 at 04:21 AM.
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Nov 08, 2006, 12:46 AM	#2 (permalink)
LouisaDeztini Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Little Red Dot Posts: 133 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 772	Re: Never Alone Yeah... You still have the same problem as your previous poem, the 'flow'. I guess its quite different for you huh? Don't change it to suit others, make sure you keep your distinct style. It had a slight 'edge' to it. Go Chris! Lolz... You have that knack of... how do I explain. Making people understand the poem easily, with no extra hidden meanings, ok, maybe there is, but my friends agree that its really good, besides the grammar etc. By the way, stanze1, line three, "scream" should be 'screams' Was it done on the spot? You should go through the poem a few times to make sure the grammar is passable. __________________
Status: Offline

Nov 08, 2006, 02:54 AM	#3 (permalink)
Twisted Fate Newbie Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 47 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 10	Re: Never Alone sniffs Awh..its really a great poem! its sweet and sad...
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Nov 08, 2006, 02:59 AM	#4 (permalink)
HolderOfTheDarkChalice Tournaments Won: 1 King Of Darkness Join Date: May 2006 Location: someplace where the only light is the moon above Posts: 2,795 Thanks: 21 Thanked 20 Times in 19 Posts Credits: 3,212	Re: Never Alone thanks im glad you lboth liked it and i will work with my grammer they should have grammer check along with spellcheckm till i get better at it lol,and im glad you understand it i will go back and see what elese need work ,thans for the sugeestions and comments __________________ thanks mellow your sig is top notch http://www.animeonline.net/links/
Status: Offline

Nov 08, 2006, 03:01 AM	#5 (permalink)
Kasai Domme Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Florida Posts: 2,745 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 1,490	Re: Never Alone Weee. A wonderful poem indeed. The wording rolls off your mind and the content keeps you interested. Good poem! __________________ Seduced by Flesh
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Nov 08, 2006, 06:05 AM	#6 (permalink)
Sincere Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Justin's heart Posts: 307 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 364	Re: Never Alone Wow Chris, thank you that was really good. I appreciate that a lot, I really do. That was cool. I liked how you wrote it too. Your description was nice. __________________ $C:\Documents and Settings\Julia\My Documents\My Pictures\Siggy.jpg$ A white rose no longer alone I know who's heart it is to represent I didn't pick it, but i let it grow For he's the one that's heaven sent. : I love you, my White Rose.: The Poop Forums
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Nov 08, 2006, 06:24 AM	#7 (permalink)
Shippo101 Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: In a banana Posts: 220 Thanks: 11 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Credits: 4,246	Re: Never Alone wow that was awesome dude and i really hope to see more of your work. __________________ The heavens laugh at our foolish deed and the greed we exceed
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Nov 10, 2006, 05:36 AM	#8 (permalink)
BlueFox1 Upcoming Legend Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A place called Midnight Sun know as Tranquility Posts: 584 Thanks: 8 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts Credits: 1,176	Re: Never Alone Awesome poem Bro! I almost missed this one, and the thought process behind this one is awesome it really keeps you hooked! Excellent job on this one! __________________
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Nov 10, 2006, 05:39 AM	#9 (permalink)
HolderOfTheDarkChalice Tournaments Won: 1 King Of Darkness Join Date: May 2006 Location: someplace where the only light is the moon above Posts: 2,795 Thanks: 21 Thanked 20 Times in 19 Posts Credits: 3,212	Re: Never Alone thanks im glad you liked it and i was in oine of those moods where i was feeling alone and my best freind pulled me out of it she is awesome like that. im glad you liked it though __________________ thanks mellow your sig is top notch http://www.animeonline.net/links/
Status: Offline

Nov 10, 2006, 06:17 AM	#10 (permalink)
ketaro kitty Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 4,221 Thanks: 27 Thanked 31 Times in 29 Posts Credits: 23,200	Re: Never Alone Nice one HolderOfTheDarkChalice. How do you get inspired to write poems like this one? Are they based on personal experience in life or they just pop up in your head?
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Nov 10, 2006, 06:31 AM	#11 (permalink)
HolderOfTheDarkChalice Tournaments Won: 1 King Of Darkness Join Date: May 2006 Location: someplace where the only light is the moon above Posts: 2,795 Thanks: 21 Thanked 20 Times in 19 Posts Credits: 3,212	Re: Never Alone both actually but more from just my head when i hear a certain noise or sound really not sure hwo to expalin it ,but its a mixture of both __________________ thanks mellow your sig is top notch http://www.animeonline.net/links/
Status: Offline

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