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Thread: Never Coming Home

  1. #1
    §-Breakdown-§ Breakout Champion, Bubble Popper Champion Akura13 may be famous one day Akura13's Avatar
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    Never Coming Home

    It's the end of my world
    I relize that you are
    Never comming home
    Your smiles that forever
    Will haunt me
    I can't believe that day
    That you left me
    I didn't cry
    But it tore me inside
    When I relised that you are
    Never coming home
    All the things you said to me
    Are a painful memory
    That cannot be erased
    Now the tears come
    Once my heart
    My soul
    Finally relizes you are
    Never coming home
    Never.....
    Last edited by Akura13; Jul 02, 2007 at 11:41 PM. Reason: Complaits it was too freakin SHORT!!(and spelling)



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  2. #2
    Banned Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip's Avatar
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    Re: Never Coming Home

    Well, let's say this poem is like a cake. I eat my way through the crust and when I get to the centre, the most sweet part the cakeis no more.
    What I am saying is, It would've been better if you expanded a bit ^_^

  3. #3
    §-Breakdown-§ Breakout Champion, Bubble Popper Champion Akura13 may be famous one day Akura13's Avatar
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    Re: Never Coming Home

    -.-" okay, I'll be sure to go edit it now, K? ...............



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  4. #4
    Banned Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip's Avatar
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    Re: Never Coming Home

    Aye, sorry, but I like where it is going, but the emotions were about to hit me but I hit dead end ^_^;

  5. #5
    §-Breakdown-§ Breakout Champion, Bubble Popper Champion Akura13 may be famous one day Akura13's Avatar
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    Re: Never Coming Home

    There I edited it......how about NOW???? Is it "long enough"???-.-""



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  6. #6
    Banned Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip's Avatar
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    Re: Never Coming Home

    Haha, yeah, now it is perfect ^_^ See, an advise doesn't hurt
    *coughcough* Sorry, but it is much better now ^_^

  7. #7
    §-Breakdown-§ Breakout Champion, Bubble Popper Champion Akura13 may be famous one day Akura13's Avatar
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    Re: Never Coming Home

    hehehe.....why thank you. Ahhh this took 15 minuts to write......



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  8. #8
    Moderator Fling The Cow Champion, Abba The Fox Champion deodaclan18 may be famous one day deodaclan18 may be famous one day deodaclan18's Avatar
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    Re: Never Coming Home

    I liked it, and think it's fine being short. A couple of spelling errors, like 'relize', but other than that, it's good.
    Attitude of AO MODS, according to beast
    Because they have obtained that level they are arrogant. You have to kep in mind when you talk about these guys they are kind of dorks who probably didn't excel at much and this is their only outlet to flex their muscles. Their egos would suffer no less so the the forum suffers some more. Watch one way or another they will probably repond to this post with a threat. But there are better forums out there. Private messege Zev.

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