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Thread: Nicotine

  1. #1
    Devoted Otaku Nympho may be famous one day Nympho may be famous one day Nympho's Avatar
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    Nicotine

    I posted this in our poetry clan, but i also would like it available for comments from everyone.
    This is about a <warning: corny> war in my heart. I cant fight it, and i cant let it get to me. And its so frustrating that i cant talk to anyone about it. But in this poem i hope you can feel a little of what i do.
    *I free verse*

    A cigarette haze armors your face
    Knowing the addiction
    I respire
    Quieting my heart
    My eyes fail to the hush sound
    Walking slowly behind you
    Making my way to your side
    Asking questions to receive a lonely rejection
    I begin to fade from your side
    I’m finding answers from another calling
    Risking it all
    You take me down
    To the bottom
    But its too late, sickening smoke
    Negative exposure
    Burn me
    Even when i leave
    I will always return to you
    Last edited by Nympho; Jan 10, 2007 at 01:23 PM.

    I'm a glass child. I am Hannah's regrets. Monster.

  2. #2
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
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    Re: Nicotine

    This is a good poem nympho and welcome back! I think that I understand what you are talking about in this poem. I must say that you did an awesome job writing this because I had to actually think to understand what was written! Looking forward to more of your work Nympho!

  3. #3
    Newbie faia may be famous one day faia may be famous one day faia's Avatar
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    Re: Nicotine

    thats awesome!!....i understand what you're trying to say..i also have (corny alert lol) a war in my heart, not with cigatettes, but with my friends well anyways love ur work^^

  4. #4
    Devoted Otaku Nympho may be famous one day Nympho may be famous one day Nympho's Avatar
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    Re: Nicotine

    Why thankies Fox!

    Faia....i'm a little lost, do you think this poem is about cigarettes? LOL. Its not about cigarettes at all.

    I'm a glass child. I am Hannah's regrets. Monster.

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    Otaku know1 may be famous one day know1 may be famous one day know1's Avatar
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    Re: Nicotine

    Its about bad habbits that you know are bad, but know you won't stop either.

  6. #6
    You's Trollin Pro Leafblower Champion, Helicopter Champion ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro's Avatar
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    Re: Nicotine

    Hey nice to see you again nympho. Dude, nice poem you wrote there, keep it up and you know that i will look forward to read more of your poems.

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    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: Nicotine

    I think I see the connection of smoke in this poem. I'm not sure if it was.. constructed right. I'm sorry, I'm trying to find the correct wording o decribe my critique.

    hmm. I do however, love the visual imagery you've given the reader.
    Seduced by Flesh


  8. #8
    Devoted Otaku Nympho may be famous one day Nympho may be famous one day Nympho's Avatar
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    Re: Nicotine

    I realize that this one was a bit sloppy, i didnt finish the thought correctly. But what i did not say and connect properly was that this person i am speaking of, we met under a cigerette and thats what i always remember about him. And now im drawn to him like the addiction of a cigerette. No matter how wrong and bad he is for me, i cant break the cycle.

    I'm a glass child. I am Hannah's regrets. Monster.

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