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Thread: Night Lover

  1. #1
    Otaku Big Money Champion hyuuga13 may be famous one day hyuuga13 may be famous one day hyuuga13's Avatar
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    Night Lover

    To what do I owe the pleasure
    Your face outside my window
    Ghastly white like fresh fallen snow
    Your alluring eyes grip hold my soul

    I leave my bed and open my window
    Allowing you entrance upon my threshold
    Your eyes hold mine in a transfixed gaze
    My fate is sealed in an unknown maze

    You come close to me
    Your warm breath upon my cheek
    I feel the sharpness of your fangs
    As they graze the jaw-line of my neck

    They slowly sink into my flesh
    As pale as the moon on a summer night
    Crimson fluid spills down my chest
    Life as I know it is drained from my neck

    Slowly the room begins to fade
    I start to slide from your embrace
    I collapse to the floor hardly conscious
    I'm so weak I'm barely breathing

    Your shadow falls across me
    As I lay there in the dark
    Your voice an echo in my head
    A choice is placed before I'm dead

    I try to decline your offer
    But my soul accepts your dark gift
    The pain rushes through me again
    Blood fills my mind and vision

    I feel my strength return
    Like liquid fire in my veins
    I slowly sit upright and turn towards you
    My thirst for knowledge overwhelming

    I'm now a phantom of the Night
    Your child of the Darkness
    A silent shadow in the evening
    Sometime later we'll be meeting
    Last edited by hyuuga13; Nov 16, 2006 at 02:14 PM.
    Why is everything so ****ing hard for me? Keep me down to what you think I should be! Must you tempt me and provoke the ministry? Keep on trying I'm not dying so easily!

  2. #2
    Otaku MuMu Champion Shade/K' Heart may be famous one day Shade/K' Heart may be famous one day Shade/K' Heart's Avatar
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    That was a very nice poem. Well done, and well written. I like how I was able to see the event unfold with each section. Also, your metaphors were a good use in this one. Keep up the good work, and I can't wait to read more from you.

    Far be it for me to be anything special, when the only special thing I desire with me, is the special person I share my gifts with.

  3. #3
    Otaku Big Money Champion hyuuga13 may be famous one day hyuuga13 may be famous one day hyuuga13's Avatar
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    thank you i appreciate all criticism. and all complements. a poet likes to know if their work is worth reading and even worth pursuing.
    Why is everything so ****ing hard for me? Keep me down to what you think I should be! Must you tempt me and provoke the ministry? Keep on trying I'm not dying so easily!

  4. #4
    Newbie Jounin_Uzumaki may be famous one day Jounin_Uzumaki may be famous one day Jounin_Uzumaki's Avatar
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    Very nice... post some more good ones soon... sorry... can't think of much better stuff to say... I'm kinda new to poetry...
    I have an RP site... want to join? Then PM me and we'll talk...

    P.S. - Don't hurt me...

  5. #5
    RPG Lord and Master/Poet Soldat of life may be famous one day Soldat of life may be famous one day Soldat of life's Avatar
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    Inspiration from a game or from a passion? By the way your link made me loose 1.3 litters of blood you know!

    Back on subject: I appreciated your varying vocabulary use and storylike continuation to the writing. If you get inspiration from various places other than vampires, meaing if your own personal experiences, the people around you, things you see or hear, etc, make you feel inspired to write, I'd say give it a good long thought and start writing to your heart's desire. I've been writing small poems here and there and no matter how good or bad they might be, I just go on for myself and also for others as gifts when I don't know what to give or have a lack of funds xD

    If you like dark subjects, I do have a few, but scattered quite a bit, my most rencent one was about an anime series I watched and you should find it easily. I hope to fall upon another of your writings as they are fairly long, yet easy to read
    Quote Originally Posted by Soldat of life View Post
    My favorite philosopher:
    Hassun

    Thanks to Xelhes for this amazing work of art ^.^
    Poetry Corner CLICK HERE IF YOU KNOW ME

  6. #6
    Otaku Big Money Champion hyuuga13 may be famous one day hyuuga13 may be famous one day hyuuga13's Avatar
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    ill make sure to put more out there. when exactly i dont know. and the link has nothing to do with the poem. sorry about that though.
    Why is everything so ****ing hard for me? Keep me down to what you think I should be! Must you tempt me and provoke the ministry? Keep on trying I'm not dying so easily!

  7. #7
    Otaku Pride_Edward may be famous one day Pride_Edward may be famous one day Pride_Edward's Avatar
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    This poem was long but very awesome...The words are so deep it kept me repeating to read it. Nice poem hyuuga13...

  8. #8
    Otaku Big Money Champion hyuuga13 may be famous one day hyuuga13 may be famous one day hyuuga13's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Soldat of life View Post
    Inspiration from a game or from a passion? By the way your link made me loose 1.3 litters of blood you know!

    Back on subject: I appreciated your varying vocabulary use and storylike continuation to the writing. If you get inspiration from various places other than vampires, meaing if your own personal experiences, the people around you, things you see or hear, etc, make you feel inspired to write, I'd say give it a good long thought and start writing to your heart's desire. I've been writing small poems here and there and no matter how good or bad they might be, I just go on for myself and also for others as gifts when I don't know what to give or have a lack of funds xD

    If you like dark subjects, I do have a few, but scattered quite a bit, my most rencent one was about an anime series I watched and you should find it easily. I hope to fall upon another of your writings as they are fairly long, yet easy to read
    i do actually like the darker subjects so if you have any ideas that i can use to get started on my next poem i would sure like to hear them. my family says that im "dark and twisty" so i guessed that the subject matter should match as well.lol
    Why is everything so ****ing hard for me? Keep me down to what you think I should be! Must you tempt me and provoke the ministry? Keep on trying I'm not dying so easily!

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