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Thread: Nightmare of Your Death

  1. #1
    Slippery When Wet~ Trampoline Tricks 2 Champion, Togy Ball Champion highteckdudu is off to a good start highteckdudu's Avatar
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    Nightmare of Your Death

    Nightmare of Your Death

    Why did you have to pull the trigger?
    Why did you leave her to stay?
    A family, a chance, a life, stresses,
    so many questions are racing her mind,
    as one questioned door closes,
    two more open and become unfulfilled.
    You left more behind than your body.
    You left pain, fright, sadness and no hope.

    What are you gaining by all this?
    Not happiness that’s for sure.
    She cries every night, knowing,
    that when she wakes up in the morning,
    she’ll be back in her own nightmare.
    When will she wake up? Never.
    For it is not a dream, this is reality,
    The choices, the stress, and the love it’s all real.

    One question is all there is to answer it all
    Why?
    But she’ll never know the real truth, will she?
    In this nightmare of your own death.



    I had this one for a while, not too long though, originally this poem was like 3 pages long! No joke, I see most people don’t like long poems so I tried to make it as short as possible, with out ruining it.
    But by putting something this deep into a poem, trying to shorten it is nearly impossible. So I had some struggles with that.

    I don’t do a lot of poetry; my friends are the ones that seem to be interested in to it, So I tried to get more interested in to it for them. Well I hope you enjoyed my second one I put up here! Please tell me what you think?
    =^.^=
    Last edited by highteckdudu; Oct 30, 2007 at 10:12 AM. Reason: spelt something wrong.
    I tryed to see things from your point of view but i cant seem to get my head that far up my ass!
    Visit www.highteckdudu.deviantart.com!

  2. #2
    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
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    Re: Nightmare of Your Death

    lol Come on Highteckdudu I liked it I could see any ones lover asking that if their partner departed. good job I could visualize this one well. nicely protraied. keep it up! I hope to see more from you.
    ナサン フォオツド
    Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever!
    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

  3. #3
    Slippery When Wet~ Trampoline Tricks 2 Champion, Togy Ball Champion highteckdudu is off to a good start highteckdudu's Avatar
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    Re: Nightmare of Your Death

    Thank you Ichigo for taking the time to reply to this! Very kind of you! Well I will try to get more up. and thanks again.
    I tryed to see things from your point of view but i cant seem to get my head that far up my ass!
    Visit www.highteckdudu.deviantart.com!

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    Devoted Otaku bratling may be famous one day bratling's Avatar
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    Re: Nightmare of Your Death

    I'm very, highly impressed with this... I felt like you were talking about me which is an interesting feeling to get from someone you've only spoken to a few times. Fantastically felt and I think it's very well written. I hope you write some more, you might find poetry is a good release.

    You never really loved me/You never really cared/It was all just a game to boost your ego/Those feelings never really there/ I'm filing emotional bankruptcy/My heart can take no more debt/Theres no more "money" there to spend. === Besides tee hee SHE loves me!

  5. #5
    Slippery When Wet~ Trampoline Tricks 2 Champion, Togy Ball Champion highteckdudu is off to a good start highteckdudu's Avatar
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    Re: Nightmare of Your Death

    Thank you kindly Bratling, Thank you for taking the time to reply! *bows* I think it is a good release and it can be an even better one if you know what you are doing. I'm new to all of this so i dont have as much experience as most of the people here do.
    I tryed to see things from your point of view but i cant seem to get my head that far up my ass!
    Visit www.highteckdudu.deviantart.com!

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    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: Nightmare of Your Death

    I liked it... But I think the long variant is probably even better, shall you send it over to me? This is good but I just want to read more...

    It reminds me a lot of my own feelings... I really want to wake up in a wold where a few things haven't happened, first time in my life I really want to change something in his life.... *sigh*

    It's nice... I like it. Nice work. I really hope to see more from you!!!! Love your works!

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  7. #7
    Devoted Otaku bratling may be famous one day bratling's Avatar
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    Re: Nightmare of Your Death

    I personally prefer the experiance part myself. I don't like to do things I donno what I'm doing, yanno? Lol. I think you'll get better really fast, you already have good starting talent.

    You never really loved me/You never really cared/It was all just a game to boost your ego/Those feelings never really there/ I'm filing emotional bankruptcy/My heart can take no more debt/Theres no more "money" there to spend. === Besides tee hee SHE loves me!

  8. #8
    Slippery When Wet~ Trampoline Tricks 2 Champion, Togy Ball Champion highteckdudu is off to a good start highteckdudu's Avatar
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    Re: Nightmare of Your Death

    Thank you soo much, it makes me feel happier when some one says it made an impact on them, Thank you kindly for posting, if i get the chance to type it up I will send you the longer verion. ^.^ thank you for stoping by!
    I tryed to see things from your point of view but i cant seem to get my head that far up my ass!
    Visit www.highteckdudu.deviantart.com!

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