Nightmare of Your Death

highteckdudu · Oct 29, 2007, 09:47 AM

Nightmare of Your Death

Why did you have to pull the trigger?
Why did you leave her to stay?
A family, a chance, a life, stresses,
so many questions are racing her mind,
as one questioned door closes,
two more open and become unfulfilled.
You left more behind than your body.
You left pain, fright, sadness and no hope.

What are you gaining by all this?
Not happiness that’s for sure.
She cries every night, knowing,
that when she wakes up in the morning,
she’ll be back in her own nightmare.
When will she wake up? Never.
For it is not a dream, this is reality,
The choices, the stress, and the love it’s all real.

One question is all there is to answer it all
Why?
But she’ll never know the real truth, will she?
In this nightmare of your own death.

I had this one for a while, not too long though, originally this poem was like 3 pages long! No joke, I see most people don’t like long poems so I tried to make it as short as possible, with out ruining it.
But by putting something this deep into a poem, trying to shorten it is nearly impossible. So I had some struggles with that.

I don’t do a lot of poetry; my friends are the ones that seem to be interested in to it, So I tried to get more interested in to it for them. Well I hope you enjoyed my second one I put up here! Please tell me what you think?
=^.^=

Ichigo_06 · Oct 30, 2007, 11:05 AM

lol Come on Highteckdudu I liked it I could see any ones lover asking that if their partner departed. good job I could visualize this one well. nicely protraied. keep it up! I hope to see more from you.

highteckdudu · Oct 30, 2007, 11:18 AM

Thank you Ichigo for taking the time to reply to this! Very kind of you! Well I will try to get more up. and thanks again.

bratling · Oct 30, 2007, 11:20 AM

I'm very, highly impressed with this... I felt like you were talking about me which is an interesting feeling to get from someone you've only spoken to a few times. Fantastically felt and I think it's very well written. I hope you write some more, you might find poetry is a good release.

highteckdudu · Oct 30, 2007, 11:25 AM

Thank you kindly Bratling, Thank you for taking the time to reply! *bows* I think it is a good release and it can be an even better one if you know what you are doing. I'm new to all of this so i dont have as much experience as most of the people here do.

*Lasura* · Oct 30, 2007, 11:28 AM

I liked it... But I think the long variant is probably even better, shall you send it over to me?

This is good but I just want to read more...

It reminds me a lot of my own feelings... I really want to wake up in a wold where a few things haven't happened, first time in my life I really want to change something in his life.... *sigh*

It's nice... I like it. Nice work. I really hope to see more from you!!!! Love your works!

bratling · Oct 30, 2007, 11:28 AM

I personally prefer the experiance part myself. I don't like to do things I donno what I'm doing, yanno? Lol. I think you'll get better really fast, you already have good starting talent.

highteckdudu · Oct 30, 2007, 11:36 AM

Thank you soo much, it makes me feel happier when some one says it made an impact on them, Thank you kindly for posting, if i get the chance to type it up I will send you the longer verion. ^.^ thank you for stoping by!

highteckdudu · Oct 30, 2007, 11:39 AM

Thank you for the inspiration. I will do my best *puts fist in the air* Yes. thank you kindly! and by experience i ment that i havent wroten many before, but i'm sure you knew that. lol! =^.^= thank you again for stoping by.

bratling · Oct 30, 2007, 11:39 AM

That would be appriciated. While the long ones are daunting to read they are often more felt more emotional and better written. I used to write REALLY really long poems. And no problem, it was much diserved!

highteckdudu · Oct 30, 2007, 11:49 AM

Lol! yeah it is hard trying to put all your feelings a bout situations in just one littel poem, there usually too much to just stick in some little space, but when you make them longer people dont read them as much, but then again poems are for your self and not others. oh and no problem.

Oct 29, 2007, 09:47 AM	#1 (permalink)
highteckdudu Where the journey begins! Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: The wonderfull world of Minnesota! And I mean that! Posts: 595 Thanks: 3 Thanked 15 Times in 15 Posts Credits: 155,707	Nightmare of Your Death Nightmare of Your Death Why did you have to pull the trigger? Why did you leave her to stay? A family, a chance, a life, stresses, so many questions are racing her mind, as one questioned door closes, two more open and become unfulfilled. You left more behind than your body. You left pain, fright, sadness and no hope. What are you gaining by all this? Not happiness that’s for sure. She cries every night, knowing, that when she wakes up in the morning, she’ll be back in her own nightmare. When will she wake up? Never. For it is not a dream, this is reality, The choices, the stress, and the love it’s all real. One question is all there is to answer it all Why? But she’ll never know the real truth, will she? In this nightmare of your own death. I had this one for a while, not too long though, originally this poem was like 3 pages long! No joke, I see most people don’t like long poems so I tried to make it as short as possible, with out ruining it. But by putting something this deep into a poem, trying to shorten it is nearly impossible. So I had some struggles with that. I don’t do a lot of poetry; my friends are the ones that seem to be interested in to it, So I tried to get more interested in to it for them. Well I hope you enjoyed my second one I put up here! Please tell me what you think? =^.^= __________________ I tryed to see things from your point of view but i cant seem to get my head that far up my ass! Visit www.highteckdudu.webs.com! Last edited by highteckdudu; Oct 30, 2007 at 10:12 AM. Reason: spelt something wrong.
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Oct 30, 2007, 11:05 AM	#2 (permalink)
Ichigo_06 Dragonrider Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: On the back of my dragon escaping everything and ignoring the pain. Posts: 611 Thanks: 15 Thanked 10 Times in 10 Posts Credits: 4,723	Re: Nightmare of Your Death lol Come on Highteckdudu I liked it I could see any ones lover asking that if their partner departed. good job I could visualize this one well. nicely protraied. keep it up! I hope to see more from you. __________________ ナサンフォオツド Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever! Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173
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Oct 30, 2007, 11:18 AM	#3 (permalink)
highteckdudu Where the journey begins! Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: The wonderfull world of Minnesota! And I mean that! Posts: 595 Thanks: 3 Thanked 15 Times in 15 Posts Credits: 155,707	Re: Nightmare of Your Death Thank you Ichigo for taking the time to reply to this! Very kind of you! Well I will try to get more up. and thanks again. __________________ I tryed to see things from your point of view but i cant seem to get my head that far up my ass! Visit www.highteckdudu.webs.com!
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Oct 30, 2007, 11:20 AM	#4 (permalink)
bratling Devoted Otaku Join Date: May 2007 Location: Crystal Minnesota. Posts: 509 Thanks: 0 Thanked 17 Times in 16 Posts Credits: 11,826	Re: Nightmare of Your Death I'm very, highly impressed with this... I felt like you were talking about me which is an interesting feeling to get from someone you've only spoken to a few times. Fantastically felt and I think it's very well written. I hope you write some more, you might find poetry is a good release. __________________ She's always trying not to cry. But I can see the demons in her eyes. She's always trying not to yell. But you see to her, she's trapped in hell.
Status: Offline

Oct 30, 2007, 11:25 AM	#5 (permalink)
highteckdudu Where the journey begins! Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: The wonderfull world of Minnesota! And I mean that! Posts: 595 Thanks: 3 Thanked 15 Times in 15 Posts Credits: 155,707	Re: Nightmare of Your Death Thank you kindly Bratling, Thank you for taking the time to reply! bows I think it is a good release and it can be an even better one if you know what you are doing. I'm new to all of this so i dont have as much experience as most of the people here do. __________________ I tryed to see things from your point of view but i cant seem to get my head that far up my ass! Visit www.highteckdudu.webs.com!
Status: Offline

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Oct 30, 2007, 11:28 AM	#6 (permalink)
Lasura Angelic Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: In a Demon's Arms Posts: 1,866 Thanks: 56 Thanked 32 Times in 30 Posts Credits: 49,192	Re: Nightmare of Your Death I liked it... But I think the long variant is probably even better, shall you send it over to me? This is good but I just want to read more... It reminds me a lot of my own feelings... I really want to wake up in a wold where a few things haven't happened, first time in my life I really want to change something in his life.... sigh It's nice... I like it. Nice work. I really hope to see more from you!!!! Love your works! __________________ My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge
Status: Offline

Oct 30, 2007, 11:28 AM	#7 (permalink)
bratling Devoted Otaku Join Date: May 2007 Location: Crystal Minnesota. Posts: 509 Thanks: 0 Thanked 17 Times in 16 Posts Credits: 11,826	Re: Nightmare of Your Death I personally prefer the experiance part myself. I don't like to do things I donno what I'm doing, yanno? Lol. I think you'll get better really fast, you already have good starting talent. __________________ She's always trying not to cry. But I can see the demons in her eyes. She's always trying not to yell. But you see to her, she's trapped in hell.
Status: Offline

Oct 30, 2007, 11:36 AM	#8 (permalink)
highteckdudu Where the journey begins! Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: The wonderfull world of Minnesota! And I mean that! Posts: 595 Thanks: 3 Thanked 15 Times in 15 Posts Credits: 155,707	Re: Nightmare of Your Death Thank you soo much, it makes me feel happier when some one says it made an impact on them, Thank you kindly for posting, if i get the chance to type it up I will send you the longer verion. ^.^ thank you for stoping by! __________________ I tryed to see things from your point of view but i cant seem to get my head that far up my ass! Visit www.highteckdudu.webs.com!
Status: Offline

Oct 30, 2007, 11:39 AM	#9 (permalink)
highteckdudu Where the journey begins! Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: The wonderfull world of Minnesota! And I mean that! Posts: 595 Thanks: 3 Thanked 15 Times in 15 Posts Credits: 155,707	Re: Nightmare of Your Death Thank you for the inspiration. I will do my best puts fist in the air Yes. thank you kindly! and by experience i ment that i havent wroten many before, but i'm sure you knew that. lol! =^.^= thank you again for stoping by. __________________ I tryed to see things from your point of view but i cant seem to get my head that far up my ass! Visit www.highteckdudu.webs.com!
Status: Offline

Oct 30, 2007, 11:39 AM	#10 (permalink)
bratling Devoted Otaku Join Date: May 2007 Location: Crystal Minnesota. Posts: 509 Thanks: 0 Thanked 17 Times in 16 Posts Credits: 11,826	Re: Nightmare of Your Death That would be appriciated. While the long ones are daunting to read they are often more felt more emotional and better written. I used to write REALLY really long poems. And no problem, it was much diserved! __________________ She's always trying not to cry. But I can see the demons in her eyes. She's always trying not to yell. But you see to her, she's trapped in hell.
Status: Offline

Oct 30, 2007, 11:49 AM	#11 (permalink)
highteckdudu Where the journey begins! Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: The wonderfull world of Minnesota! And I mean that! Posts: 595 Thanks: 3 Thanked 15 Times in 15 Posts Credits: 155,707	Re: Nightmare of Your Death Lol! yeah it is hard trying to put all your feelings a bout situations in just one littel poem, there usually too much to just stick in some little space, but when you make them longer people dont read them as much, but then again poems are for your self and not others. oh and no problem. __________________ I tryed to see things from your point of view but i cant seem to get my head that far up my ass! Visit www.highteckdudu.webs.com!
Status: Offline

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