|
| Welcome to AnimeOnline.net, your personal Anime Community! | Anime Online Rulez! |
| |||||||
 |
| | LinkBack | Thread Tools | Display Modes |
Dec 27, 2006, 10:51 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
 Newbie  | no title Hold me tight don't say a word close your eyes and whisper those three little words Tell me how much you missed me Kiss my lips saying how you remmeber our first kiss How you wish we couls stay like this forever With fears of us walking difernt paths Hold me tight colse your eye's I whisper those three little words kissing you softly Could we stay like this forever? |
| Status: Offline
|      |
|
Dec 29, 2006, 08:06 PM
| #3 (permalink) | |
| Newbie | Re: no title Quote:
*remember *could *different *close and its "eyes" and this line could use some work on it Its a good poem I guess but you have to be a bit more persuasive. I like the concept you put in here and besides it looks like you put some effort into it. Maybe you should give it a title to make it stronger. How about...?: "Wishes" or "Three Little Words" or "I Love You" You know what I mean. I hope I don't offend you with the comments. I like your poem. Kudos! | |
| Status: Offline
| |
|
Jan 03, 2007, 11:15 AM
| #4 (permalink) |
| In The Arms Of My Lover  Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: In Axel's Closet!! *watch's him sleep* XD
Posts: 690
Thanks: 40
Thanked 9 Times in 8 Posts
 Credits: 3,813 | Re: no title YAY!!! Awesome poem Kira!!!! You always write such sweet love poems.  Can't wait till the next 1.
__________________  Made by- Ryomakurosaki (Thank you sooooo much!!) ^__^ |
| Status: Offline
| |
|
Jan 03, 2007, 11:28 AM
| #5 (permalink) |
  Lost In My Own World  Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Fruityville, Florida
Posts: 1,532
Thanks: 4
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Credits: 5,282 | Re: no title I like this poem but like Angel said it needs the spelling fixed and also need punctuation like Kasai said. Then it would be a really good poem. |
| Status: Offline
| |
|
Jan 03, 2007, 11:50 AM
| #6 (permalink) |
 Devoted Otaku  Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A place called Midnight Sun know as Tranquility
Posts: 584
Thanks: 8
Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts
Credits: 1,286 | Re: no title This is a nice poem kira! Keep up the good work and I hope to see more of your poetry here on AO! I can tell you wrote it from the heart, and that's the way it should be especially when you have someone on your mind!
__________________  |
| Status: Offline
| |
|
| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | |
| |
Similar Threads | ||||
| Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
| No title | FLawEdmiNd | Poems | 3 | Dec 25, 2006 08:53 AM |
| no title | FLawEdmiNd | Poems | 1 | Nov 24, 2006 07:12 AM |
| no title | fayt lingod | Poems | 5 | Oct 22, 2006 05:29 PM |
| No Title | HieisLove | Library | 2 | Sep 20, 2006 10:21 PM |
| No title (sorry) | Blade X | Poems | 4 | Sep 20, 2006 08:39 PM |
Linear Mode
