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Newbie | no title Hold me tight don't say a word close your eyes and whisper those three little words Tell me how much you missed me Kiss my lips saying how you remmeber our first kiss How you wish we couls stay like this forever With fears of us walking difernt paths Hold me tight colse your eye's I whisper those three little words kissing you softly Could we stay like this forever? |
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| | #3 (permalink) | |
Newbie | Re: no title Quote:
*remember *could *different *close and its "eyes" and this line could use some work on it Its a good poem I guess but you have to be a bit more persuasive. I like the concept you put in here and besides it looks like you put some effort into it. Maybe you should give it a title to make it stronger. How about...?: "Wishes" or "Three Little Words" or "I Love You" You know what I mean. I hope I don't offend you with the comments. I like your poem. Kudos! | |
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| In The Arms Of My Lover Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: In Axel's Closet!! *watch's him sleep* XD
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![]() ![]() Credits: 3,813 | Re: no title YAY!!! Awesome poem Kira!!!! You always write such sweet love poems. Can't wait till the next 1. ![]()
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![]() Lost In My Own World Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Fruityville, Florida
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![]() ![]() Credits: 5,282 | Re: no title I like this poem but like Angel said it needs the spelling fixed and also need punctuation like Kasai said. Then it would be a really good poem. |
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Devoted Otaku Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A place called Midnight Sun know as Tranquility
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![]() ![]() Credits: 1,286 | Re: no title This is a nice poem kira! Keep up the good work and I hope to see more of your poetry here on AO! I can tell you wrote it from the heart, and that's the way it should be especially when you have someone on your mind!
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