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  1. #1
    Hell Enforcer George Wants Beer Champion, Monkey Cliff Diving Champion, Tilt 2 Champion hellknight may be famous one day hellknight may be famous one day hellknight's Avatar
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    Your the only one I wanted to hate
    You destroyed my trust and fate
    You used me as bait
    Your forgiveness was too late

    I remember of what you did
    You abused me like a little kid
    I wanted to find you, but you always hid
    Threw me in a bottle and closed the lid

    I can't stop hearing your cries
    I don't want to hear your lies
    I see you in my eye's
    You are so bugging like little flies

  2. #2
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: no title

    Again, this rhyme style. Trying writing a poem without the rhymes first, and then if you feel the poem should rhyme? Add in the needed words and effect.

    Because when you try to rhyme straight off the bat? The words in the poem sound forced.
    Seduced by Flesh


  3. #3
    Hell Enforcer George Wants Beer Champion, Monkey Cliff Diving Champion, Tilt 2 Champion hellknight may be famous one day hellknight may be famous one day hellknight's Avatar
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    Re: no title

    hey its my style its the way i like to write, besides am not so good with slow motion words like your guy's poems

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    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: no title

    I believe there are writing styles to a person. However, when you say the rhetoric device known as rhyming is your particular style? I cringe.

    You can have a style of writing that adapts to the different styles of rhetoric modes. You just have to know how.

    The Poetry/fanfic clan uses the different rhetoric strategies to practice their own creative styles on. You should check us out.
    Seduced by Flesh


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    Newbie babepooh15 may be famous one day babepooh15 may be famous one day babepooh15's Avatar
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    Re: no title

    its good!!!! its deep!!!!!!!! good work !!! keep it up
    poohs my boo

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    Lost In My Own World Fishing the Sea Champion, LastTank Standing Champion Ky-lyrra may be famous one day Ky-lyrra may be famous one day Ky-lyrra's Avatar
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    Re: no title

    I don't get why people want to write poems that can hurt someone. Try and write something happier. Unfortanatly I agree with Kasai when she talks about the whole it sounds forced. Try and let it flow out of you instead of trying to force it to rhyme. Good luck on your next poem.
    ™Mommy To Micah And Shawn!™


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