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Old Feb 28, 2007, 12:24 PM   #1 (permalink)
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-no title-

Days end at dawn
Tommorrow is another one
People sleeping at night
But, during the day they are having fun

Night time is when they are tired
Family going to the park
Couples sleeping in a bed
Lights out at dark

Days go by fast
Night time is slow
Time won't last
Minutes go by flow


haha I just thought it out, sounds cheesy, so please tell me what you think. T_T
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Old Mar 02, 2007, 10:32 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: -no title-

ok... I like it though I don't quite understand the meaning. Your rhyming seems a bit forced too.

But I like the theme of the dark. I went through a stage where all I would write about was night time. I'm actually working on one now. Can't wait to read more. ^_^
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Old Mar 02, 2007, 10:53 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: -no title-

Nice poem, hellknight! I especially like this part:

Quote:
Days go by fast
Night time is slow
Time won't last
Minutes go by flow
So true. Time goes by very quickly, almost too quick, so we have to cherish every minute we have. Good job at a quick poem. I ejoyed it ^ ^
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Old Mar 02, 2007, 11:11 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: -no title-

it doesn't sound cheesy. I pictured my day when its day time and how the world would look if all the lights went out. At night it feels like time do seem to slow down preparing for another day.
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