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  1. #1
    Hell Enforcer George Wants Beer Champion, Monkey Cliff Diving Champion, Tilt 2 Champion hellknight may be famous one day hellknight may be famous one day hellknight's Avatar
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    no title

    I couldn't awake
    In the cold storm
    My mind was empty
    My body felt warm

    I had a chance to live
    It was in my cold hand
    For me to raise to my feet
    I make this one last stand

    I stand alone
    In a raging sun
    In a sand desert
    Waiting for the fun.

    sounds cheezy right? anyway I want to check with you guys if this is good? I still need to work on it.

  2. #2
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: no title

    I find it quite good... It was really interesting to read it and I love the thought about standing up again and fighting on (well, of course I do, look at my signature-it's all about it, this is the thouh witch helps me and other people not to give up on life), but it misses something for it to be complete... hmm... You have better poems here, as I recall...
    But I really like it still! And the words "Waiting for the fun" sound so... brave... jsut what I think about this life...

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  3. #3
    「Someone」 Goo Slasher Champion, Fish Kill Champion, Rapid Motion Champion, Cell-Out Champion, Sober Santa 2 Champion, Flower Girl Champion KuwiRules145 is off to a good start KuwiRules145's Avatar
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    Re: no title

    It's just wonderful!!! (Claps) It's seems peaceful in a way. Hope to see more in the future.
    「When I'm sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead」

  4. #4
    Hell Enforcer George Wants Beer Champion, Monkey Cliff Diving Champion, Tilt 2 Champion hellknight may be famous one day hellknight may be famous one day hellknight's Avatar
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    Re: no title

    Thanks Lasura and Kuwi, I think I'll just leave it since everyone finds its good lol.

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