+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: no title and why should I care?

  1. #1
    Newbie darkness of an angel is off to a good start darkness of an angel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    I'm everywhere
    Posts
    58
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    no title and why should I care?

    One grows from the flesh that does from within
    a constant evolve, a constantly thing
    if we are lucky we then make it to 5
    this noise of childhood has timed us To thrive
    pur noises and names, and faces of place
    last in our mind for the rest of these days.
    At 9 we come calmer, but focused as most
    for the toys of our shelves are what we love most.
    These things will then pass, as the schoolyards do scream
    at 12 we all wish life was merely a dream.

    It is the age that we reach that makes means to the ends.
    But this all depends on insignificant friends
    they are your rule, they are your air.
    You apease them some more for the concern of their cares.
    For a one to submit to the pressures so peer,
    why would one want to live qith these fears.
    Ah, to be peerless is truley an arrogant gain
    you sacrafice friends and your self still remains
    hardly deluted, hardly said sane,
    it make us all smarter and closer to graves.
    Last edited by darkness of an angel; Mar 21, 2007 at 10:18 AM.

  2. #2
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,736
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: no title and why should I care?

    When you capitalize every word in the sentence? It looks stupid and it makes me believe you were never taught in english class, and of course it ruins the poem.
    Seduced by Flesh


  3. #3
    Legendary Otaku Snake Champion, Zelda Champion, Crazy Koala Champion, Minigolf Champion, Concentrate Champion, Guess 5 Champion, Batting Champ Champion, Beach Ball Control Champion, Bookworm Champion, Wacky Word Wiz Champion, Fight Fight 3 Champion, Spinner's Luck Champion, Traffic Jam Champion, Yeti Pengu Throw Champion Legend is making a name for themselves Legend is making a name for themselves Legend is making a name for themselves Legend's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Sharks Territory
    Posts
    4,762
    Thanks
    64
    Thanked 67 Times in 61 Posts

    Re: no title and why should I care?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kasai View Post
    When you capitalize every word in the sentence? It looks stupid and it makes me believe you were never taught in english class, and of course it ruins the poem.
    Did you copy this from somewhere else??

    'Cause you give me something / That makes me scared, alright / This could be nothing / But I'm willing to give it a try / Please give me something
    'Cause someday I might call you from my heart

  4. #4
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,736
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: no title and why should I care?

    ?
    Pyoro, mosst of my comments sound the same because the same problem is rampant with the same members/poems.
    Seduced by Flesh


  5. #5
    Otaku Lotski is off to a good start
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Baguio City, Philippines
    Posts
    161
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Re: no title and why should I care?

    hmmm.. the poem is sooo deep!
    most people may not be able to understand it.
    try to make a poem with simpler words,
    simple ideas.. experiment on what you see or hear etc..
    its nice though, just confusing.. hehehe

    If you don't like me, it's mind over matter.
    I don't mind and you don't matter

  6. #6
    Legendary Otaku Snake Champion, Zelda Champion, Crazy Koala Champion, Minigolf Champion, Concentrate Champion, Guess 5 Champion, Batting Champ Champion, Beach Ball Control Champion, Bookworm Champion, Wacky Word Wiz Champion, Fight Fight 3 Champion, Spinner's Luck Champion, Traffic Jam Champion, Yeti Pengu Throw Champion Legend is making a name for themselves Legend is making a name for themselves Legend is making a name for themselves Legend's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Sharks Territory
    Posts
    4,762
    Thanks
    64
    Thanked 67 Times in 61 Posts

    Re: no title and why should I care?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kasai View Post
    ?
    Pyoro, mosst of my comments sound the same because the same problem is rampant with the same members/poems.
    No, Kasai, there has been a misunderstanding, I wasn't referring to you.

    'Cause you give me something / That makes me scared, alright / This could be nothing / But I'm willing to give it a try / Please give me something
    'Cause someday I might call you from my heart

  7. #7
    Otaku eleonne has disabled reputation eleonne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    In a forest of fantasy
    Posts
    333
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Re: no title and why should I care?

    I have to agree with Kasai - the capitalizations ruined the poem for me. The capitalizations make it a difficult read, since my eyes are not accustomed to reading lines and verses with every word capitalized, but if you have a reason for the capitalizations, then perhaps it'll help us to understand if you stated that reason.

    Aside from the capitalization, the poem is good, with regards to the meaning you're trying to convey. I thought you had a good choice of words and lines, and your poem had an interesting theme ^^ I don't have a problem with the depth of your poem, though. I think it's just enough to satisfy any hungry poem interpreter ^^;;

  8. #8
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,736
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: no title and why should I care?

    Quote Originally Posted by Pyoro-Pyoro View Post
    No, Kasai, there has been a misunderstanding, I wasn't referring to you.
    I've checked the poem for plagiarism. It didnt see it anywhere.
    Seduced by Flesh


+ Reply to Thread

Similar Threads

  1. Why should I care what you think
    By evil_neko_youkai in forum Poems
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: Dec 19, 2006, 06:43 PM
  2. why should i care
    By tupacs_wifey in forum Poems
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: Nov 02, 2006, 08:14 PM
  3. do u care?
    By mixed fighter girl in forum The Chat Forum
    Replies: 54
    Last Post: Apr 29, 2006, 06:02 PM
  4. What does it mean to care for someone?
    By kedar in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: Feb 09, 2006, 04:24 PM
  5. why care
    By linx88 in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: Apr 28, 2005, 07:16 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts