this is not a good poem

darkness of an angel · Sep 21, 2007, 07:35 AM

Darkness of a heart,
Darkness of a soul so alone,
Darkness is around us.

A heart once pure with light,
A soul once was never alone,
We had friends that never lie to us,
But they lie for us to get us out of trouble.

Dear brother you're an ass,
And dear sister you're too easy,
And me I'm just a loser,
But I'm cool like that and don't care what people say.

If people think different,
Speak up or forever hold your peace.

ice viper · Sep 21, 2007, 07:38 AM

I like your poem. For some reason I'm drawn to the dark poems but there may be a reason for that too. It is very well written. Keep up with the good work and I can't wait to read more from you.

*RayMe* · Sep 22, 2007, 04:08 AM

ouch... thats wat ppl always say abt their bros.. XD

This is a good poem..what u mean by not a good poem ^^ it's written nicely like my sis said up there..

shouichishindo · Sep 22, 2007, 06:01 AM

i agree, it was very well written, the flow went accordingly throughout and yet it still kept to the beat of formality
very good job, id like to hearmore

Sep 21, 2007, 07:35 AM	#1 (permalink)
darkness of an angel Newbie Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: I'm everywhere Posts: 58 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 652	this is not a good poem Darkness of a heart, Darkness of a soul so alone, Darkness is around us. A heart once pure with light, A soul once was never alone, We had friends that never lie to us, But they lie for us to get us out of trouble. Dear brother you're an ass, And dear sister you're too easy, And me I'm just a loser, But I'm cool like that and don't care what people say. If people think different, Speak up or forever hold your peace. __________________
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Sep 21, 2007, 07:38 AM	#2 (permalink)
ice viper Diamond in the Rough Join Date: May 2007 Location: I'm lost Posts: 212 Thanks: 5 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts Credits: 3,544	Re: this is not a good poem I like your poem. For some reason I'm drawn to the dark poems but there may be a reason for that too. It is very well written. Keep up with the good work and I can't wait to read more from you.
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Sep 22, 2007, 04:08 AM	#3 (permalink)
RayMe 1 )3^^( )N Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Somewhere i would love to leave right now for somewhere better... Posts: 3,606 Thanks: 55 Thanked 27 Times in 24 Posts Credits: 59,502	Re: this is not a good poem ouch... thats wat ppl always say abt their bros.. XD This is a good poem..what u mean by not a good poem ^^ it's written nicely like my sis said up there.. __________________ Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!! The best ever Lasura~! >>>myspace<<<
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Sep 22, 2007, 06:01 AM	#4 (permalink)
shouichishindo Newbie Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Michigan USA Posts: 58 Thanks: 1 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts Credits: 1,265	Re: this is not a good poem i agree, it was very well written, the flow went accordingly throughout and yet it still kept to the beat of formality very good job, id like to hearmore __________________
Status: Offline

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