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Thread: Numbness

  1. Oct 26, 2007 11:23 PM #1
    fireandice
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    Numbness

    Numbness sets firmly in
    Pain and confusion evaporate
    Loneliness and longing unwelcome
    Heartstrings pulled and destroyed
    Caused by one thought of you
    Heartbeats become distant
    Feelings wilt and become surreal
    Hope begins to fade
    Why did you abandon me
    Regret, dismay, devastation
    The flame flickers and goes out
    Coldness surrounds within and without
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  2. Oct 27, 2007 12:20 AM #2
    RayMe
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    Re: Numbness

    It may be short.. but it completely tell what you want to convey... which is what you felt...

    The words used here are nicely used..and they made a strong effect... a lingering effect in the minds of the readers... kudos to you ^^ nicely done... keep it up
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  3. Oct 27, 2007 11:54 AM #3
    Astaroth
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    Re: Numbness

    I definitely agree with RayMe......this poem packs a punch!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Great job!!!!!!!!!!1
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  4. Oct 27, 2007 01:59 PM #4
    bratling
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    Re: Numbness

    Beautifully written and extremely powerfully felt. I really identify with the sentiment of this poem and I want to see more from you

    You never really loved me/You never really cared/It was all just a game to boost your ego/Those feelings never really there/ I'm filing emotional bankruptcy/My heart can take no more debt/Theres no more "money" there to spend. === Besides tee hee SHE loves me!
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  5. Oct 27, 2007 03:04 PM #5
    Tifa Lockhart
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    Re: Numbness

    It is well written. I love the word choice. Keep up the awesome work. ^_^
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  6. Oct 27, 2007 03:36 PM #6
    ice viper
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    Re: Numbness

    Well done Fire! Love how you play with the words. Keep up with the good work can't wait to read more from you.
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  7. Oct 27, 2007 09:13 PM #7
    divine_punishment
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    Re: Numbness

    Such a powerful poem. It makes my blood stand still . . . numb. Post more poems!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  8. Oct 27, 2007 09:17 PM #8
    fireandice
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    Re: Numbness

    Thanks everyone for you comments. I wasn't going to post this poem but was convinced to do so by a couple of friends. Thanks for all your susport. But no body thinks that there is anything wrong with it?
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