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Thread: Obedient Puppet

  1. #1
    Devoted Otaku Spike'sRose may be famous one day Spike'sRose may be famous one day Spike'sRose's Avatar
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    Obedient Puppet

    I was in a very morbid mood when I wrote this! ^_^ Enjoy.

    Obidient Puppet
    Dance for me,
    In the graceful shadows of my orchestra's music.
    Expose your fearful beauty.
    Confess to me
    All your corrupt desires.
    Speak of your fermented memories.
    Inspire me,
    Transgress this world and become perfect.
    Release your heart's inner workings.
    Explore with me,
    More of your saturated emotions.
    Whisper silently as you bleed for me.
    Compel my soul,
    Spark this inner poet.
    Obsess in blue tears over my touch.
    Come to me,
    Let me eat and drink of your love until I am full.
    Decorate your cursed pleasures with skeletal remains.
    My little precious angel,
    My damned creation,
    My obidient puppet.
    Last edited by Spike'sRose; Feb 08, 2007 at 08:56 PM. Reason: **a few spelling errors I missed! sorry about that, guys!**

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    Heavy Metal Goddess CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18's Avatar
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    Re: Obedient Puppet

    I really liked it. It was wel written and kinda scary. Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading more.
    "Sunset Kisses Along The Beach"
    Made for me by HolderofTheDarkChalice
    Thanks so much I love it!

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    NalaMidnight Eggs Champion P.R. Princess may be famous one day P.R. Princess may be famous one day P.R. Princess's Avatar
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    Re: Obedient Puppet

    oooh that was good. I like it.(^.^) Keep up the good work. I hope to see more.

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    Sorrow's Angel Shinigami's_Angel may be famous one day Shinigami's_Angel may be famous one day Shinigami's_Angel's Avatar
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    Re: Obedient Puppet

    Wow!! This was soooooo amazing!! I loved it!! The words spoke with such emotion, truly amazing work!! I just loved everything about it!! Awesome and amazing job!! Can't wait 2 read more!!
    Made by- Ryomakurosaki (Thank you sooooo much!!) ^__^

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    Otaku Just Pitching Champion, Mile High Club Champion, Penguin Dive Champion, Gold Strike Champion Darkened_Star may be famous one day Darkened_Star may be famous one day Darkened_Star's Avatar
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    Re: Obedient Puppet

    Dark... I LOVE IT!!! It is well written (at least the way I like it), and flows okay too. The title fits it... I really like it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Spike'sRose
    Whisper silently as you bleed for me.
    I've use this line in one of my poems before. At least one real similar. My favorite line too. ^_^

    Come dance in the rain with me, no one is watching.

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    Newbie distantdreamer27 is off to a good start distantdreamer27's Avatar
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    Re: Obedient Puppet

    I really enjoyed this... I have found out personally, that sometimes writing is a little easier when your depressed or morbid.
    I loved this poem, it was very well done.
    I hope I get to see more.

  7. #7
    Devoted Otaku Spike'sRose may be famous one day Spike'sRose may be famous one day Spike'sRose's Avatar
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    Re: Obedient Puppet

    Thank you so much, everyone!
    I appreciate you taking the time to read this and give me feedback. ^_^

    I fixed a few spelling errors in it...
    I typed "mermented" instead of "fermented" lol!!

    Most of my work is what I feel as I feel it...
    This one ... I was looking out my window at the moon... And the coyotes were howling... I just felt spookhy and morbid. ^_^

    I'll post more up soon!!

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