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Old Nov 06, 2007, 07:13 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Ode to heartfelt poetry.

I read your heartfelt poetry.
You wrote those words right over me.
Over all I knew myself to be.
You typed over my loyalty.

Your poems for her, Ive read them all.
I chase the pain with alcohol.
I was just your neverending brawl.
But you did not see what I saw.

I read all of those romantic spurts.
Of who means the most, who you put first.
I still love the part of you that hurts.
I read, as if for pain I thirst.

Oh, such creative writing skills.
Each line, each word, gives me the chills.
I cry, for milk that always spills.
Surpassing hurt... Poetry that kills.

I read your heartfelt poetry.
You wrote those words right over me.
Over all I knew myself to be.
You typed over my loyalty.

Each stanza speaks your loving truth.
With so much beauty, so much couth.
While spitting on my precious youth.
My vodka is 100 proof.

Yet, in my shot glass... just a tear.
For her, loving words endear.
And my wounds will never dissapear.
I'm sure thats what you want to hear.

I loved you hard. But all I see...
Is belittling what I used to be.
You were my treasure, Im your debris.
Such lovely poems... but not for me.
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Old Nov 06, 2007, 08:25 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Ode to heartfelt poetry.

WOW! That is great. Very powerful, very moving. It stirs you, ya' know? You have such a way with your words. The pain is so plain it's beyond just a feeling. If pain could be seen in the air, your poem with stir the very leaves I walk on.

Very nice again. Thanks for allowing us to read your words.
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Old Nov 06, 2007, 09:50 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Ode to heartfelt poetry.

Well, thank you.... It seems you have a good understanding of the pain I felt when I wrote this. Infact, your feedback was so insightful that I was touched deeply.

And Im honored just to have someone give my work a glance... so once again... Thank YOU.
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Old Nov 06, 2007, 09:53 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Ode to heartfelt poetry.

Beyond beautifully written. And, so well felt, that it made my stomach hurt. Kinda a lot actually.
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Old Nov 06, 2007, 10:10 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Ode to heartfelt poetry.

@ Bratling: Its funny how many people can be impacted by someones sincere thoughts. Especcially when those thoughts are "well felt" as you so kindly put. Yet, you could read those same touching, "well felt" words to the person breaking your heart....... and to them......... it would be nothing more than an annoyance.
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Old Nov 06, 2007, 10:15 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Ode to heartfelt poetry.

I suppose it's all a matter of opinion in the end. I personally enjoy your writing. But perspective is a really interesting thing.
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Old Nov 07, 2007, 04:33 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Ode to heartfelt poetry.

Quote:
Each stanza speaks your loving truth.
With so much beauty, so much couth.
While spitting on my precious youth.
My vodka is 100 proof.
@.@ my...

This is awesome.. @.@ a very nicely written..with amazing rhymes... damn nice~! captured reader's attention like a fly on a fly trap paper.. @.@ i could not even move my eyes away from it... and i agree with bratling... beyond than that... you just explained how does one would feel after reading a wonderful love poem written by the one that person loves to more than one person... @.@ nice nice..

Keep it up.. this is my all time favourite from you...
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Old Nov 07, 2007, 08:03 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Ode to heartfelt poetry.

Really? Your favorite?! Wow...... coming from you that means more than you know... You're one of my favorite poets here. So Im extremely flattered.
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Old Nov 07, 2007, 08:07 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Ode to heartfelt poetry.

wha? @.@ me? Im such a humble poet to be called your favourite..

yes it is...i always wondered what my gf and ex feel when i wrote poems to them... i was having 2 gf's at the same time..i know it'll be bad.. and this poem just shown some of what they might have felt.. ^^
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Old Nov 07, 2007, 09:22 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Re: Ode to heartfelt poetry.

OOooooooh shame on you Rayme... *waves finger* Yeah... its a painful thing to see someone lifted up, when it puts you down.

Hey.... did you give me the rating too? No one has ever rated my work before... this is a first.... Thank you!
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Old Nov 07, 2007, 11:12 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Re: Ode to heartfelt poetry.

It wasn't him. It was me. I just learned how to do it and I liked this one so much that it diserved the extra attention.
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