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Thread: for the one i love

  1. #1
    Otaku crazy canadin emo kid is off to a good start crazy canadin emo kid's Avatar
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    for the one i love

    for the one i love
    im hear for you

    no matter what you say or do
    im hear for you

    even tho when i look apon
    you i dont know what to do
    give you a kiss or run
    away from you

    my mine is a mess
    my life gives me no time to rest

    but life has now given me
    some one to hold on to something
    worth liveing for something
    life given to me for a reason
    and i shall keep it close to me

    evey time i talk to you
    something in me sparks
    makes me more alive

    what is this thing is i dont
    know and i dont care i wish
    i can stay like this forever

    and it can...just promiss
    to stay with me forever

    i give you my heart
    without a seocond guess
    caz i know you will keep
    it with you

    for the one i love.....
    my love is what i offer

    for the one i love......
    i have my arms out
    wateing for you to fall
    into them

    for the one i love
    im with you allways one
    step behind you wateing for
    you when you are ready
    to come with me

    for the one i love....
    im just leting you know.....
    i love you....will you love me
    crazy canadin emo kid
    (i know is not relly a poem but this is the place to put it)
    the one and only show that rocks my socks
    the one show that i cant live
    with out.

    soul society will live on forever in the minds of its poeple!!!

  2. #2
    Otaku ryomakurosaki is off to a good start ryomakurosaki's Avatar
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    Re: for the one i love

    Good things: A good poem it has alot of emotions pouring out of it. It has a some-what good flow. I could feel the emotions you put forth into this poem for the one you love.

    The part I don't enjoy to much

    Bad things: In your poem you seem to have alot of spelling mistakes. Always read over it like two times to make sure you spelled things right. In your poem you need puncutation. It seems like a run on sentence.

    Well in my opinon I did enjoy the poem but it could use some improvements. Good job on this one and I hope to see more in the future.
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  3. #3
    Otaku crazy canadin emo kid is off to a good start crazy canadin emo kid's Avatar
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    Re: for the one i love

    Quote Originally Posted by ryomakurosaki View Post
    Good things: A good poem it has alot of emotions pouring out of it. It has a some-what good flow. I could feel the emotions you put forth into this poem for the one you love.

    The part I don't enjoy to much

    Bad things: In your poem you seem to have alot of spelling mistakes. Always read over it like two times to make sure you spelled things right. In your poem you need puncutation. It seems like a run on sentence.

    Well in my opinon I did enjoy the poem but it could use some improvements. Good job on this one and I hope to see more in the future.
    i know i suck a spelling srooy about that and i put spaces betten it so it wont be run on sentes but thank for your comment thank you for likeing my work
    *bows to you*
    the one and only show that rocks my socks
    the one show that i cant live
    with out.

    soul society will live on forever in the minds of its poeple!!!

  4. #4
    Àddïctëd tø |ăüghïñg :) Sonny Sunshine Champion, Volcano Champion, Aquarium Sprengischen Champion, Spiderman Web of Words Champion, Look Alive Champion iluvmyloser is off to a good start iluvmyloser's Avatar
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    Re: for the one i love

    I like it^^ but just to let you know here=right here

    hear=listen

    overall it was a very sweet poem with good flow & structure^^

    good work
    Yeah, Bye.

  5. #5
    Otaku SweetCandy is off to a good start
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    Re: for the one i love

    AAwww wow ..I didn't know you were poetic..that was beautiful..*pinches emo cheeck* That was really good..I use to write them..but I just talk to ppl now about how I feel or what i go through..it makes feel a lot better than just puttin it on paper..cuz now I have good friends..

    But emo i would love to read some more...

  6. #6
    Otaku crazy canadin emo kid is off to a good start crazy canadin emo kid's Avatar
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    Re: for the one i love

    thanks iluvmyloser like ryomakurosaki saed im not a good speller
    and thank you sweetcandy i will make some more poem later
    thanks you all
    the one and only show that rocks my socks
    the one show that i cant live
    with out.

    soul society will live on forever in the minds of its poeple!!!

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to crazy canadin emo kid For This Useful Post:

    SweetCandy (Jan 13, 2008)

  8. #7
    Otaku jazzy9513 is off to a good start
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    Re: for the one i love

    awwwwwwwwww this is so sweet i love it and it is a poem

  9. #8
    Otaku crazy canadin emo kid is off to a good start crazy canadin emo kid's Avatar
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    Re: for the one i love

    thanks jazzy9513 im glad you like it it took 3 hours to make it
    and it dose not have what i thought that makes it a poem
    but it is i guess i shall make a new one soon
    the one and only show that rocks my socks
    the one show that i cant live
    with out.

    soul society will live on forever in the minds of its poeple!!!

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