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Oct 23, 2007, 09:07 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Banned  Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Lindsborg
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 Credits: 6,221 | One more time One more time You ask for forgiveness You ask for mercy You ask for all the things You never gave me So why should I care Instead of making you suffer Why shouldn't I watch You bleed to death over there What makes you think That I care about you What makes you think That I could ever love you Does it look like I love you Do you mean some thing No, you mean nothing Nothing at all So take your screams of pain Your Please have mercys All the way to hell For your life was in vain No one will save you Not a single soul For everyone hates you No matter what you control I'll finish it quick I've had enough fun All you have to do is scream out to me One more time |
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Oct 23, 2007, 09:37 AM
| #2 (permalink) |
  1 )3^^( )N  Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Somewhere i would love to leave right now for somewhere better...
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Credits: 58,287 | Re: One more time my,.. @.@ i feel anger there...residing deep in the poem... i hope it's sealed @.@ nicely done... a very good poem indeed... nice flow and it end's nicely~!  |
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Oct 23, 2007, 09:48 AM
| #3 (permalink) |
 Diamond in the Rough  Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: In a house. ._.
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Credits: 6,318 |  Re: One more time  nice...I really like how I can read this nice and quickly,  Really nice flow, Yeah...She does sound angry Rayme  Hope to read more from you ^__^ -Zainab
__________________ [ײַ] þøק¢σяη├†┤.. ~: 3!  |
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Oct 23, 2007, 10:13 AM
| #4 (permalink) |
 Where the journey begins!  Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: The wonderfull world of Minnesota! And I mean that!
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Credits: 153,999 | Re: One more time It eems you have no way to go, and some one loves you but you dont love them back! You seem to be in s struggle, It just seems sad to me.. but great job on the poem can't wait till you make more!
__________________  I tryed to see things from your point of view but i cant seem to get my head that far up my ass!Visit www.highteckdudu.webs.com! |
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Oct 23, 2007, 10:40 AM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Ramen Addict  Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 2,028
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Credits: 85,069 | Re: One more time OOH! ANGRY! ^_^ This is good, right here! Pure, raw, unadulterated emotion and power in this poem! I like your ability to express your anger in this poem. Keep up the good work!
__________________ Kickin' it like a soccer player!   |
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Oct 23, 2007, 11:51 AM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Banned Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Lindsborg
Posts: 155
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Credits: 6,221 | Re: One more time Thank you... All of you.. it means a lot that you guys like my pissed off poetry.. lol.... well i got to thinking about someone and yeah.. it just kinda went from there... *looks down* i don't usually write hate poems.. but.. it was something new and I guess it came out alright... usually they don't make sense.. |
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Oct 24, 2007, 11:17 AM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Dragonrider  Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: On the back of my dragon escaping everything and ignoring the pain.
Posts: 611
Thanks: 15
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Credits: 4,692 | Re: One more time wow angelic, I am sorry you feel that way anything your friends can do let us know! we will help (or try to) and try to get rid of that anger. it hurst not only you, but you know that.
__________________  ナサン フォオツド Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever! Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173 |
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