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Thread: Open

  1. #1
    Hell Enforcer George Wants Beer Champion, Monkey Cliff Diving Champion, Tilt 2 Champion hellknight may be famous one day hellknight may be famous one day hellknight's Avatar
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    Open

    When will I wake up?
    I have slept too long
    Being in one place
    It continues on

    (Open your eye's)

    I want to open my eye's
    Getting out of these dreams
    Filling my head with lie's
    My though ain't what it seems

    (Open your thought's)

    It won't let me out
    It keep's me inside
    Am going to shout
    OF commiting suicide

    (Open your mind)

    It's raging in my body
    My head full of madness
    Help me somebody
    I had enough of this

    (Open yourself)

  2. #2
    Otaku Just Pitching Champion, Mile High Club Champion, Penguin Dive Champion, Gold Strike Champion Darkened_Star may be famous one day Darkened_Star may be famous one day Darkened_Star's Avatar
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    Re: Open

    It won't let me out
    It keep's me inside
    Am going to shout
    OF commiting suicide

    (Open your mind)
    I like the third stanza the most...
    I love it! I like the way you write too. I love reading peoples writing... Yep. ^_^

    Come dance in the rain with me, no one is watching.

  3. #3
    Hell Enforcer George Wants Beer Champion, Monkey Cliff Diving Champion, Tilt 2 Champion hellknight may be famous one day hellknight may be famous one day hellknight's Avatar
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    Re: Open

    thank you DS, real helpful about my poem j'k thankssss

  4. #4
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
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    Re: Open

    Whoa homey! I almost missed this one! Nice job on the poem I have to agree with Darkend_Star the third stanza is the best! Keep up the good work homes!

  5. #5
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: Open

    It started out bad with the wording, but then it got better. I see some talent in you, remember to revise your works.
    Seduced by Flesh


  6. #6
    Hell Enforcer George Wants Beer Champion, Monkey Cliff Diving Champion, Tilt 2 Champion hellknight may be famous one day hellknight may be famous one day hellknight's Avatar
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    Re: Open

    Quote Originally Posted by Kasai View Post
    It started out bad with the wording, but then it got better. I see some talent in you, remember to revise your works.
    lol thank you kasai i will, thinking of these is teaching me something

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