![]() |
| Welcome to AnimeOnline.net, your personal Anime Community! | Anime Online Rulez! |
| |||||||
![]() |
| | LinkBack | Thread Tools | Display Modes |
| | #1 (permalink) |
Otaku Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Somewhere in ol'Michigan
Posts: 121
Thanks: 15
Thanked 13 Times in 13 Posts
![]() Credits: 11,118 | Open Your Mind Faintly gleaming in the stream Of mist and hourly strife Upon the mast of swirling blue Into the breaths; wind scented too The powerful stride is what we do As we step up to life's bigger task Furthermore we see the before, Our mistakes we made in the past Casting true to such swirling blue That makes up our life's mast So vast our minds yet so ignorant too How could we sit here so blind inside? Such great force lies beyond our emotions Yet many fear the overpowering tide As dull and faded some senses are negated In the minds of the ignorant that wallow avast Such a tender evanescent touch life becomes When you close your mind to what we have Open the door and cross the gate into the unknown! Show yourself right into the mystery and reveal it's core! We can't truly think we sow what we reap If the actual feeling inside is desecrated by spiritual gore Nevermore! Nevermore! I call to the blatant thunderous roar! That deep spacey state that shows us nothing Spacing out and becoming lost, Oh such a chore! There is so much to lose if you cannot see, What I am simply trying to implore! We cannot sit and let our minds sink, We must open up our minds and cross through destiny's ivory door!
__________________ "Walk in with Reason, and leave with Passion." |
| Status: Offline
| |
| | #2 (permalink) |
![]() Chtonian Slayer Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: you really do not want to know
Posts: 562
Thanks: 23
Thanked 47 Times in 45 Posts
![]() Credits: 31,869 | Re: Open Your Mind Wow.....this is amazing.......the rhythm flows like clear water in this poem and the words are full of wisdom..... Great job!!!!
__________________ DO NOT MAKE ME UNLEASH MY INNER DEMON |
| Status: Offline
| |
| | #3 (permalink) | |
Angelic Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: In a Demon's Arms
Posts: 1,872
Thanks: 56
Thanked 34 Times in 31 Posts
![]() Credits: 49,619 | Re: Open Your Mind Well I found the rythm a bit odd, I don't know, it was a bit hard to read... But I love the rhyming in this stranza: Quote:
And I love the part after "Nevermore! Nevermore!" it reminded me of elf songs... nice The line before the last line kinda broke it to me though...Alltogether... really nice work!!!!!!!!! ^^ | |
| Status: Offline
| |
![]() |
| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | |
| |
Similar Threads | ||||
| Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
| Open Your Eyes | Lasura | Fanfics | 9 | Oct 23, 2007 09:47 PM |
| open to a new world | chrystalann2004 | Poems | 7 | Oct 03, 2007 10:31 AM |
| Tries to open door... | Pentdragon | Introductions | 8 | Sep 04, 2007 02:37 PM |
| Open | hellknight | Poems | 5 | Jan 23, 2007 10:32 AM |
| Looking for Trades (open) | orni | Trading Post | 0 | Oct 30, 2006 01:43 PM |