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Thread: The other side of love....

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    Otaku aeonking is off to a good start
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    Re: The other side of love....

    Another great poem by you.

    This one is so moving it makes me think about love a bit more than just "love".

    Your right about the other side of love as I have felt that side and its not the best side to be on, but such a superb poem.



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    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: The other side of love....

    Ahhh... that was a nice poem. I don't think at all it was hard to understand, I really think it just made ihunt too emotional... poor Zainab @.@ *hugs Zainab*

    I really liked it... it was nice to read. Didn't notice any big flaws... though it is quite simple and what Ray suggested might help with that, but those things are sadly things that come with time ^^

    Hmm... oh I wanted to talk about the idea of the poem... it is very nice... and true... But there is also another "other side of love"- you don't have to part to feel it. When you are with someone- you get ups and downs all the time, tears and laughter... but it's just the other part of love and... well I enjoy it just as much as the good part...

    Nice work Ryoma! ^^ I missed your writting and I hope to see more ^^

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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    Golden Crypt Lord James Bunny Champion, Leaf Bouncer Champion, Flying Pengus Champion, Jungle Jumble Champion, Hungry Hippaul Champion LichGRIFFIN may be famous one day LichGRIFFIN's Avatar
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    Re: The other side of love....

    the poem is good overall .. normal start for a loving poem but it takes the best turning at the last part .. when this came ..
    Quote Originally Posted by ryomakurosaki View Post
    I want to be alone now
    to feel this pain...with no one by my side
    just to dissolve into the darkness.....
    which was the place I called heaven...
    which is a very strong efficient way to express the "true sorrow" which replaced the "fake happiness" in the heart ... i real really liked it ...
    Life and Death are always one and the same
    EVEN IF A RAINBOW IS BROKEN THERE'S STILL THE SKY

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    Newbie DollCorpse is off to a good start DollCorpse's Avatar
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    Re: The other side of love....

    I normally don't read love poems much. For some reason, though, the title of your poem made me want to read this one. I think your poem is very good, since you seemed to have written it from your heart. Writings, poetry or stories, when written from the heart, are so understandable that I don't see why others have anything to criticize about. I write my songs and haiku from my heart, and I dearly hope they're good. Yours is excellent, so don't worry about those harsh criticisms. I really think your poem is very lovely.

    DollCorpse

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    Otaku ryomakurosaki is off to a good start ryomakurosaki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by P.R. Princes View Post


    I do agree that you could use a little more metaphores but for me mostly for like this stanza,

    I had a tendency to put an 's' after 'disappear' and 'evaporate'
    to me it made more sence I dont know if anyone else got that but I did.

    But besides those little things the poem overall was great. The emotion was clear and I was able to follow it clearly.
    Keep it up. Hope to see more.^_^
    alright thank you for the advice^^ i guess i need to proff read them a bit more than ^^
    and thanks you i was wonder it really got ppl confused

    Quote Originally Posted by aeonking View Post
    Another great poem by you.

    This one is so moving it makes me think about love a bit more than just "love".

    Your right about the other side of love as I have felt that side and its not the best side to be on, but such a superb poem.
    lol thanks aeon ^^ very kind to say
    that's a reason i wanted to write about other sides of things i have already written about but i will still write about love ^^

    Quote Originally Posted by Lasura View Post
    Ahhh... that was a nice poem. I don't think at all it was hard to understand, I really think it just made ihunt too emotional... poor Zainab @.@ *hugs Zainab*

    I really liked it... it was nice to read. Didn't notice any big flaws... though it is quite simple and what Ray suggested might help with that, but those things are sadly things that come with time ^^

    Hmm... oh I wanted to talk about the idea of the poem... it is very nice... and true... But there is also another "other side of love"- you don't have to part to feel it. When you are with someone- you get ups and downs all the time, tears and laughter... but it's just the other part of love and... well I enjoy it just as much as the good part...

    Nice work Ryoma! ^^ I missed your writting and I hope to see more ^^
    i was wondering if anyone really did miss my writing lol j/k
    but thank you lasura^^
    i really need someone to help me with my metaphors now!! lol but thank you again

    Quote Originally Posted by LichGRIFFIN View Post
    the poem is good overall .. normal start for a loving poem but it takes the best turning at the last part .. when this came ..


    which is a very strong efficient way to express the "true sorrow" which replaced the "fake happiness" in the heart ... i real really liked it ...
    thank you lich ^^ i am glad you enjoyed it!! thanks i wanted to capture the emotions of the people who had felt this way.

    Quote Originally Posted by DollCorpse View Post
    I normally don't read love poems much. For some reason, though, the title of your poem made me want to read this one. I think your poem is very good, since you seemed to have written it from your heart. Writings, poetry or stories, when written from the heart, are so understandable that I don't see why others have anything to criticize about. I write my songs and haiku from my heart, and I dearly hope they're good. Yours is excellent, so don't worry about those harsh criticisms. I really think your poem is very lovely.
    thank you i did write it from the heart^^ it was for how my friend felt after she got dumped..i wanted to show her that i do feel the same as her ^^ she enjoyed as well and thank you all writing are their best when the come from the heart ^^
    Last edited by gren; Nov 27, 2007 at 04:16 PM.
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