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Thread: Out of the Blue

  1. #1
    Newbie wangwang may be famous one day wangwang may be famous one day wangwang's Avatar
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    Out of the Blue

    This was written out of the blue,
    i have no clue.
    This is not a hobby that i can pursue,
    I think i just caught a flu.

    I want to laugh,
    I am not a magician with a staff.

    What?
    No, i am not a psycho nut.
    But!!
    I like the pistachio nut.

    Boo!!!!
    I am tieing my shoe,
    This was totally out of the blue.

  2. #2
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: Out of the Blue

    This was written out of the blue,
    i have no clue.
    This is not a hobby that i can pursue,
    I think i just caught a flu.


    Eh, more descriptive owrds. Hell, words in general are needed here. Where does the flu come in? You're forcing the rhyme with things that even matter to the subject of the poem.

    I want to laugh,
    I am not a magician with a staff.

    What?
    No, i am not a psycho nut.
    But!!
    I like the pistachio nut.


    Again, forcing the rhyme with subjects that are... Completely off topic or have absolutely no relation to whatever you're writing about.

    Boo!!!!
    I am tieing my shoe,
    This was totally out of the blue.


    Cute ending.
    Seduced by Flesh


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