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Mar 06, 2008, 05:05 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
 Otaku  Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Hell... wanna join?
Posts: 278
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 Credits: 13,233 | Is It Over? Is It Over? His heart is made of gold While hers has fallen apart Yet even with all the little pieces He’s the one she fell in love with He’s not perfect But to her he’s everything He’s the one she always thinks about And the one she doesn’t want to leave behind His attitude changes Right before her eyes From gentle and loving To mean and hurtful He doesn’t hit her physically But emotionally she’s damaged It’s during these times That she wants to hold him close Yet she doesn’t move closer She only moves further away Not physically but mentally and emotionally Preparing her self for the pain that is soon to come It comes anyway Making her cry and walk away As she makes decisions That she’ll regret later However maybe it’s for the best What is she to do? To her, it is unknown And now she cries in her room all alone
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Mar 06, 2008, 12:54 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
 Diamond in the Rough  Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: in the darkness
Posts: 130
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Credits: 2,799 | Re: Is It Over? theres alot of depression in ur poem but its really good( just out of curosity did something like this happen to u) |
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Mar 06, 2008, 01:17 PM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Bio-Engineered Human Race  Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: In a Purified Realm Of Lightness
Posts: 673
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Credits: 25,127 | Re: Is It Over? Wow... This poem is something worth reading into because this happen quite a while *looks around*, as i can tell this poem does have deppression as well deep sadness. I want you to make a positive change into this please because i do not want a poem to be hurtful in people's mind if that person reads it over again and again. It is a simple suggestion only you can follow it or ignore if you wish to, i am not that typical when it comes to these types of poems, please do keep on improving the feelings in this area. ^_^
__________________  Getting away from conflicts can get you far, but also can get you into more chaos. |アスタロス| |
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Mar 08, 2008, 10:54 AM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Otaku Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Hell... wanna join?
Posts: 278
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Thanked 31 Times in 30 Posts
Credits: 13,233 | Re: Is It Over? Yes.. this happened to me.. -looks away- by more than one person... I'll try dark1angel... But this poem is staying the way it is..
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Mar 08, 2008, 11:36 AM
| #5 (permalink) |
 NalaMidnight  Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Virginia
Posts: 910
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Credits: 14,781 | Re: Is It Over? wow that was good. there was alot of emotion in it. i really liked it and the flow was great. keep up the good work. |
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Mar 13, 2008, 01:03 PM
| #6 (permalink) | |
| Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: in the darkness
Posts: 130
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Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts
Credits: 2,799 | Re: Is It Over? Quote:
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Mar 13, 2008, 01:06 PM
| #7 (permalink) |
 Ao's official cat girl~★  Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Emerald island (Eire) (Ireland)
Posts: 1,681
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Credits: 19,781 | Re: Is It Over? aww such emotion in this i know i have wrote anything in a while but wow i can really relate to this poem . and i understand what its like and how its about i hope your heart mends soon jamie
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