+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 LastLast
Results 1 to 8 of 17

Thread: Pain

  1. #1
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    A place called Midnight Sun know as Tranquility
    Posts
    585
    Thanks
    9
    Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts

    Exclamation Pain

    I had some things on my mind that were bothering me so I let them out it this one! Not my usual writting but let me know what you think!



    PAIN


    I tried to impress you with everything I know
    But then you slap me down with a devastating blow.
    With every look you give like a knife in the back
    What do you want from me is this how I’m supposed to act?


    You tell me good job but it doesn’t mean a thing
    Every word from you is like a rock in a sling.
    Hurtling toward me to knock me down
    Soon after I fall hearing laughter resound.


    So to still succeed with my head held high
    Only to soon hear your devastating cry.
    Mocking me and picking on me relentlessly
    But I let out my aggression silently.


    For you see this isn’t the end you had in store for me
    Now you saying I’m sorry and graveling at my feet.
    I’m not superior to you in any form or way
    Just I did what had to be done at the end of the day.


    So spare me with endless and continuous flattery
    Because now it’s your turn to endure the pain you see.
    Let your blood being to rush and you heart being to slow
    For the words I just said are like razor blades.


    Slitting your wrist nice and slow
    You watch the blood pour as you word begin to slow.
    For you see the pain and agony
    Is the exact same pain you have given me.

  2. #2
    Otaku KuRuMi ^.^ [くるみ] NoiR may be famous one day KuRuMi ^.^ [くるみ] NoiR may be famous one day KuRuMi ^.^ [くるみ] NoiR's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    somewhere in between dreams
    Posts
    108
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: Pain

    wow!!! i just love it! i can feel the pain & the hatred as i read! awesome work. Can't wait for reading more like this. This is just amazing, keep it up!
    Carpe Diem. Quam minimum credula postero! (:

    Wishing, waiting, dreaming..

  3. #3
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    A place called Midnight Sun know as Tranquility
    Posts
    585
    Thanks
    9
    Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts

    Re: Pain

    Thanks NoiR I'll try my best keep more poems like this one keep coming! I just had some things on my mind and I needed a release and this poem was it!

  4. #4
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    someplace where the only light is the moon above
    Posts
    3,118
    Thanks
    102
    Thanked 70 Times in 64 Posts

    Re: Pain

    very nice deatiles near the end the way you just put
    your feeling's out there not caring anymore was pretty cool's
    and my favorite part was
    " So spare me with endless and continuous flattery
    Because now it’s your turn to endure the pain you see.
    Let your blood being to rush and you heart being to slow
    For the words I just said are like razor blades."

    very cool and thanks for posting also
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  5. #5
    Newbie Daft may be famous one day Daft may be famous one day Daft's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    stucked in the philippines
    Posts
    27
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: Pain

    all i can say is...

    woah, that was a great and painful poem!
    and

  6. #6
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    A place called Midnight Sun know as Tranquility
    Posts
    585
    Thanks
    9
    Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts

    Re: Pain

    Thanks HolderofTheDarkChalice(Bro) and Daft I just had to let it out! The pain is real it actually happend yesterday and is still continuing today! So I just let it out with my AO family! I'll try to keep them coming!

  7. #7
    Otaku Pride_Edward may be famous one day Pride_Edward may be famous one day Pride_Edward's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    247
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: Pain

    This poem is really a PAIN! i can exactly relate to it...Wny don't you join the poetry clan for you to know much better in poem writing? Well,just a suggestion...

  8. #8
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    A place called Midnight Sun know as Tranquility
    Posts
    585
    Thanks
    9
    Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts

    Re: Pain

    I think I will take you up on that suggestion since I just started writing poems! I'm here in Afghanistan just trying my hand at something new, but thanks for the comment Pride_Edward!

+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Pain...
    By KuRuMi ^.^ [くるみ] NoiR in forum Poems
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: Sep 10, 2006, 05:08 AM
  2. Tears of pain
    By HolderOfTheDarkChalice in forum Poems
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: Aug 11, 2006, 03:17 PM
  3. Pain
    By Moon Doggy in forum Poems
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: Jun 24, 2006, 02:23 AM
  4. hey its PAIN
    By -painredefined- in forum Introductions
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: May 09, 2006, 10:32 PM
  5. Pain
    By Shade/K' Heart in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: May 12, 2005, 04:28 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts