Pain

*BlueFox1* · Sep 15, 2006, 12:45 AM

I had some things on my mind that were bothering me so I let them out it this one! Not my usual writting but let me know what you think!

PAIN

I tried to impress you with everything I know
But then you slap me down with a devastating blow.
With every look you give like a knife in the back
What do you want from me is this how I’m supposed to act?

You tell me good job but it doesn’t mean a thing
Every word from you is like a rock in a sling.
Hurtling toward me to knock me down
Soon after I fall hearing laughter resound.

So to still succeed with my head held high
Only to soon hear your devastating cry.
Mocking me and picking on me relentlessly
But I let out my aggression silently.

For you see this isn’t the end you had in store for me
Now you saying I’m sorry and graveling at my feet.
I’m not superior to you in any form or way
Just I did what had to be done at the end of the day.

So spare me with endless and continuous flattery
Because now it’s your turn to endure the pain you see.
Let your blood being to rush and you heart being to slow
For the words I just said are like razor blades.

Slitting your wrist nice and slow
You watch the blood pour as you word begin to slow.
For you see the pain and agony
Is the exact same pain you have given me.

KuRuMi ^.^ [くるみ] NoiR · Sep 15, 2006, 12:56 AM

wow!!! i just love it! i can feel the pain & the hatred as i read! awesome work. Can't wait for reading more like this. This is just amazing, keep it up!

*BlueFox1* · Sep 15, 2006, 01:01 AM

Thanks NoiR I'll try my best keep more poems like this one keep coming! I just had some things on my mind and I needed a release and this poem was it!

*HolderOfTheDarkChalice* · Sep 15, 2006, 01:04 AM

very nice deatiles near the end the way you just put
your feeling's out there not caring anymore was pretty cool's
and my favorite part was
" So spare me with endless and continuous flattery
Because now it’s your turn to endure the pain you see.
Let your blood being to rush and you heart being to slow
For the words I just said are like razor blades."

very cool and thanks for posting also

Daft · Sep 15, 2006, 01:14 AM

all i can say is...

woah, that was a great and painful poem!

*BlueFox1* · Sep 15, 2006, 01:38 AM

Thanks HolderofTheDarkChalice(Bro) and Daft I just had to let it out! The pain is real it actually happend yesterday and is still continuing today! So I just let it out with my AO family! I'll try to keep them coming!

Pride_Edward · Sep 15, 2006, 04:14 AM

This poem is really a PAIN! i can exactly relate to it...Wny don't you join the poetry clan for you to know much better in poem writing? Well,just a suggestion...

*BlueFox1* · Sep 15, 2006, 04:27 AM

I think I will take you up on that suggestion since I just started writing poems! I'm here in Afghanistan just trying my hand at something new, but thanks for the comment Pride_Edward!

Pride_Edward · Sep 15, 2006, 04:30 AM

I hope to see ya soon on the poetry clan! til then,...

wangwang · Sep 15, 2006, 07:58 AM

this niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiceeee, love your style. keep it up its safeeee. relly relly good.
lookin forward to the next one

*BlueFox1* · Sep 15, 2006, 08:34 AM

Thanks for the compliment wangwang! I keep'em coming!

Sep 15, 2006, 12:45 AM	#1 (permalink)
BlueFox1 Devoted Otaku Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A place called Midnight Sun know as Tranquility Posts: 584 Thanks: 8 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts Credits: 1,286	Pain I had some things on my mind that were bothering me so I let them out it this one! Not my usual writting but let me know what you think! PAIN I tried to impress you with everything I know But then you slap me down with a devastating blow. With every look you give like a knife in the back What do you want from me is this how I’m supposed to act? You tell me good job but it doesn’t mean a thing Every word from you is like a rock in a sling. Hurtling toward me to knock me down Soon after I fall hearing laughter resound. So to still succeed with my head held high Only to soon hear your devastating cry. Mocking me and picking on me relentlessly But I let out my aggression silently. For you see this isn’t the end you had in store for me Now you saying I’m sorry and graveling at my feet. I’m not superior to you in any form or way Just I did what had to be done at the end of the day. So spare me with endless and continuous flattery Because now it’s your turn to endure the pain you see. Let your blood being to rush and you heart being to slow For the words I just said are like razor blades. Slitting your wrist nice and slow You watch the blood pour as you word begin to slow. For you see the pain and agony Is the exact same pain you have given me. __________________
Status: Offline

Sep 15, 2006, 12:56 AM	#2 (permalink)
KuRuMi ^.^ [くるみ] NoiR Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: somewhere in between dreams Posts: 108 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 230	Re: Pain wow!!! i just love it! i can feel the pain & the hatred as i read! awesome work. Can't wait for reading more like this. This is just amazing, keep it up! __________________ Carpe Diem. Quam minimum credula postero! (: Wishing, waiting, dreaming..
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Sep 15, 2006, 01:01 AM	#3 (permalink)
BlueFox1 Devoted Otaku Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A place called Midnight Sun know as Tranquility Posts: 584 Thanks: 8 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts Credits: 1,286	Re: Pain Thanks NoiR I'll try my best keep more poems like this one keep coming! I just had some things on my mind and I needed a release and this poem was it! __________________
Status: Offline

Sep 15, 2006, 01:04 AM	#4 (permalink)
HolderOfTheDarkChalice Tournaments Won: 1 King Of Darkness Join Date: May 2006 Location: someplace where the only light is the moon above Posts: 2,839 Thanks: 34 Thanked 33 Times in 31 Posts Credits: 5,581	Re: Pain very nice deatiles near the end the way you just put your feeling's out there not caring anymore was pretty cool's and my favorite part was " So spare me with endless and continuous flattery Because now it’s your turn to endure the pain you see. Let your blood being to rush and you heart being to slow For the words I just said are like razor blades." very cool and thanks for posting also __________________
Status: Offline

Sep 15, 2006, 01:14 AM	#5 (permalink)
Daft Newbie Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: stucked in the philippines Posts: 28 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 79	Re: Pain all i can say is... woah, that was a great and painful poem! __________________ and
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Sep 15, 2006, 01:38 AM	#6 (permalink)
BlueFox1 Devoted Otaku Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A place called Midnight Sun know as Tranquility Posts: 584 Thanks: 8 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts Credits: 1,286	Re: Pain Thanks HolderofTheDarkChalice(Bro) and Daft I just had to let it out! The pain is real it actually happend yesterday and is still continuing today! So I just let it out with my AO family! I'll try to keep them coming! __________________
Status: Offline

Sep 15, 2006, 04:14 AM	#7 (permalink)
Pride_Edward Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 247 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 110	Re: Pain This poem is really a PAIN! i can exactly relate to it...Wny don't you join the poetry clan for you to know much better in poem writing? Well,just a suggestion... __________________ Our own site: http://www.fma-adikz.tk
Status: Offline

Sep 15, 2006, 04:27 AM	#8 (permalink)
BlueFox1 Devoted Otaku Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A place called Midnight Sun know as Tranquility Posts: 584 Thanks: 8 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts Credits: 1,286	Re: Pain I think I will take you up on that suggestion since I just started writing poems! I'm here in Afghanistan just trying my hand at something new, but thanks for the comment Pride_Edward! __________________
Status: Offline

Sep 15, 2006, 04:30 AM	#9 (permalink)
Pride_Edward Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 247 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 110	Re: Pain I hope to see ya soon on the poetry clan! til then,... __________________ Our own site: http://www.fma-adikz.tk
Status: Offline

Sep 15, 2006, 07:58 AM	#10 (permalink)
wangwang Newbie Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 15 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 10	Re: Pain this niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiceeee, love your style. keep it up its safeeee. relly relly good. lookin forward to the next one
Status: Offline

Sep 15, 2006, 08:34 AM	#11 (permalink)
BlueFox1 Devoted Otaku Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A place called Midnight Sun know as Tranquility Posts: 584 Thanks: 8 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts Credits: 1,286	Re: Pain Thanks for the compliment wangwang! I keep'em coming! __________________
Status: Offline

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