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Thread: The Pain Of Her

  1. #1
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    The Pain Of Her

    As you walk away from what we have
    i sit here with tear's streaming down
    my face, the only thing i feel is a heart
    that is dieing if you would just turn around
    and see how i hurt as you go to him with a smile.

    As i keep my promise to wait for you all i feel
    is the emptyness in my heart that you leave as '
    you never come to me ,then i lay there in my lonelyness
    and feel the cold from that empty space you leave with me,
    then i close my eyes as they burn from the tears refusing to
    fall anymore.

    You smile as you go through your life feeling all those
    things others take for granted as i think of you being
    with me like this, i then scream into my pillow as i ball
    my fist's up in anger wishing so badly that you could be mine,
    nothing really matters anymore not even life because with you gone
    i have no life.

    The time has come for me to accept the fact you will never
    come to me as i see you keep smiling in his arms ,while i stand
    there watching you laugh as i stand there in the back ground
    seeing you laugh and always comforted, as i walk away once more
    smiling now knowing my chance with you is for ever gone as the
    years pass but i still wait as my love will never waver for you.


    this poem is about how love can affect someone so great
    that they will wait forever no matter the odds of having the
    one they love. this poem has nothing to do with me personally because
    i am very happy in case anyone was wondering but any comments or
    suggestions are welcomed
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  2. #2
    Mercenary SousukeSagara may be famous one day SousukeSagara may be famous one day SousukeSagara's Avatar
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    Re: The Pain Of Her

    This poem takes me back in time where I waited for someone who I do really love... But she was someone that time but I never lose hope back then... Until, my caged heart is opened and I love for someone again... Awesome poem, I really do liked it...

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    Legendary Otaku divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment's Avatar
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    Re: The Pain Of Her

    Wow. A few grammar mistakes (but, then again, I'm an English major), but otherwise very nice. Very emotive. Keep practicing. You may want to look at other artists (I strongly recommend Anne Sexton) to get a feel of other styles and see which one fits you best. I applaud you.

  4. #4
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: The Pain Of Her

    thanks i will look her up am always looking to improve my self and style
    and im still working on grammer ect. but im getting better i think.

    and i agree love like that is rare and glad i you liked the poem
    and a caged heart always seems to have alot of love but some just
    never get the chance to give it like they want
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  5. #5
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
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    Re: The Pain Of Her

    Bro I felt these emotions before and you captured them perfectly! I like your style of writing, and I have to say you and Shini have some outstanding writing style and I proud to have you as my bro, and Shini as my Angel! Keep up the great work Bro!

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    Otaku Sincere may be famous one day Sincere may be famous one day Sincere's Avatar
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    Re: The Pain Of Her

    This was a very good poem. I liked your emotion in it and the feelings. You did well with your style, which I have grown to like, and I can't wait to read more by you. Very nice.
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    A white rose no longer alone
    I know who's heart it is to represent
    I didn't pick it, but i let it grow
    For he's the one that's heaven sent. :
    I love you, my White Rose.: The Poop Forums

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    Heavy Metal Goddess CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18's Avatar
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    Re: The Pain Of Her

    That was a very sweet poem. It was so touching. I really liked how you brought out all the emotions.
    "Sunset Kisses Along The Beach"
    Made for me by HolderofTheDarkChalice
    Thanks so much I love it!

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    Otaku Gods_Dragon may be famous one day Gods_Dragon may be famous one day
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    Re: The Pain Of Her

    You have described my feelings with perfection. I have felt those exact emotions. I'm still trying to shake it, but thank you... That was a perfect expression of a powerfull word... "Emotion."


    Thanks for the avatar & sig Rave_Grip you rock!
    There is but one judge...
    ~Stay blessed

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