Thread: Pain of Loss (Illness of Indemnity)

Nice poem but it couldv'e been longer.

I like this stanza:

All those times
We were with each other
When we spoke
I remember I would stutter

Even though stutter dosn't rhyme directly with other, its a good choice of wording. Its cute how people stutter when they are with someone. ^^

The warmth from your touch now gone
Leaving my heart as cold as ice

Graphic!! What can I say, a good visual poem is always welcomed. I think the majority can really relate to this poem.
To be honest the ending could have been written better. But overall this was a very well formed piece.
Good job.

i love the poem!
is that your work?
well great job!

Originally Posted by Tano-kun

The warmth from your touch now gone
Leaving my heart as cold as ice
Now here's my question
Why did she have to pay the price?

wow, that poem was pretty deep

^that'd be my favorite verse and I so dearly hope that the poem has nothing to do with real personal loss

Originally Posted by Tano-kun

You were my light
That lead my way
It was your voice
Giving me strength each day

All those times
We were with each other
When we spoke
I remember I would stutter

Everyday I would pray
Hoping you would get better
Then when you passed away
A part of me died

The warmth from your touch now gone
Leaving my heart as cold as ice
Now here's my question
Why did she have to pay the price?

i hoped it could be longer...but still...
very deep indeed...