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Apr 05, 2006, 08:25 PM
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 Under Surveilance  Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Ughh....Ask?
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 Credits: 664 |  " Bleeding " A tribute to Trigun Bleeding: I'm bleeding from the inside, It's flowing like a river inside me, As my blood bleeds out of me you stare, This is my soul suffering inside, Can you see my pain? My fear? My blood? My sins? If I bleed, why not help me? You stand there staring, Help me please! Last edited by viper11025; Apr 05, 2006 at 08:50 PM. Reason: I had to fix this really badly. |
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Apr 05, 2006, 08:31 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
 Upcoming Legend  Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: I get bored easily
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Credits: 701 | Re: " Pain " A tribute to Trigun um is this poetry or spreading knowledge or something?
__________________  I'm a glass child. I am Hannah's regrets. Monster. |
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Apr 05, 2006, 08:41 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Upcoming Legend Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: I get bored easily
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Credits: 701 | Re: " Pain " A tribute to Trigun You wierd. That's nice. Read mine darling. Just try to use more expressive words though. You can call something painful. But how could you make me feel it? Describe it.
__________________ I'm a glass child. I am Hannah's regrets. Monster. |
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Apr 05, 2006, 08:46 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
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Credits: 664 | Re: " Pain " A tribute to Trigun I changed a few things but I have alot of other poetry I will work on better before I submit it. |
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Apr 05, 2006, 08:51 PM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Upcoming Legend Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: I get bored easily
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Credits: 701 | Re: " Pain " A tribute to Trigun That sounds better. I like constructive criticm<----can't spell. So go into the poetry forum and tell me what you think of my poetry.
__________________ I'm a glass child. I am Hannah's regrets. Monster. |
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