Mm, I'm Paine.
I write this because I truly have nothing better to do. A suicide note would be more enjoyable to write, but my story seems to run along the guidelines.
My name came from the 47 hours of labor my mother went through to push me into the world, blade first. After that, she had little to do with me and seemed to shove me into any situation that would make that name ring true. Papa Paine longed for a son, but soon felt that no child would have been the better course of action.
Most of my childhood was spent contemplating the meaning of life, while simultaniously hitting on my sister's best friend. Both came to no avail. The rest was throwing boys across town, along with their pride. I do not believe in "Girl Power". I believe in "I'm a bored girl, so I will excersize my power over you".
The humble town of my birth could no longer hold me by the time I was 13. Perhaps being caught with the chief's daughter on top of his incapacitated son may have been the cause. But I had been ready to spread my lesbian wings long before that day.
Many bruises and beds later, I found myself in front of the "Job Oppurtunities" board at a community college. My current employment at The Shop had not risen to my expectations, in either insights or its pay check.
Then, a pink, lightly-scented flier caught my eye. It was decorated with crude drawings of flowers and air ships and stick figures of the crew. It read:
Gal Pal WAnted!
We need to find thihngs like Sferes! and prety dresssez!
ANd sum guy that disapeered a long time ago that i'm still hung over!
We'll bee your BFF!
-Yuna, MegaSupaStarSummoner with big guns
I felt like all my lesbian dreams had come true, that the Butch goddess in the sky had come to bless me. It felt like she'd given me the keys to a Soroity House and said, "Go, Go my child. Make disciples of these scantily clad innocents. Seduce them with tales of the pigedness of men and the superiority of women."
But when I opened that door, my dreams were ripped from my head and dragged on the rocky ground as they sprinkled pictures of boybands on my broken spirit. Rikku was taken off the list as soon as she opened her mouth. She was taken off the paper when she turned around. With no prosterior to speak of, she was not worth my time. And Yuna...
Oh gawd... Yuna... Her indecisiveness, even in her dress, would have driven me up the wall and out of her bed. The girl couldn't even decide between a dress or shorts, neither of which were that hot to begin with. She didn't have any junk in the trunk either.
But it was too late, we were half way across the continent when I realized that I had basically locked myself in a convent. I had to fill the space of a girl named Lulu who was smart enough to get out while she still could.
When I think about what I had to wear, shudders go down my spine and I long for flannel. They loved thongs and having armor that provided no protection whatsoever. They made me sing. And dance. In something that not even Shinia Twain would wear.
My only salvation was my leather. It reminded me of who I was and what I came to do, or rather not do.
Then a bunch of useless crap happend and I left. For me, that's the best part of the story.
Now, I wear clothes that are both unattractive and practical. I search the bars and back streets for my life partner. And when I feel like I've accomplished nothing, I call Rikku and ask what she's been doing.
All in all, my life rocks and the best part is I'm never going to have to see those whiney bitches ever again.
I choose to end this now because I just realized that no one will give a damn about this, even me.
This is my version of Paine's story... after playing the first hour or so of FFX-2
It's a parody, not meant to be taken seriously. ^_^ i just felt really bad for her! Hope you enjoy!