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Thread: Pick Up Lines Between Love & Hate

  1. #1
    Otaku PunkAngel7 may be famous one day PunkAngel7 may be famous one day PunkAngel7's Avatar
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    Red face Pick Up Lines Between Love & Hate

    To feel your
    lips againt
    mine
    one last
    time,

    So I can
    drown
    with a
    frown,

    For each broken
    heart
    that has fallen
    apart

    This last bit of
    feeling
    I've spent
    stealing

    to finally
    feel
    what used
    to be so
    real

    As my lungs
    begin to
    fill
    I need to live
    still

    To pick you
    up from your
    fall
    as you begin to
    call

    Without a second
    thought
    and every battle
    that I
    fought

    As I keep going
    Under
    forever listening
    to the
    Thunder...
    You wouldn't know a good thing
    if it came up and slit your throat

  2. #2
    Otaku aeonking is off to a good start
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    Re: Pick Up Lines Between Love & Hate

    well thats a good use of ryhme and you have very short stanzas which to me makes the poem seem more faster

  3. #3
    「Someone」 Goo Slasher Champion, Fish Kill Champion, Rapid Motion Champion, Cell-Out Champion, Sober Santa 2 Champion, Flower Girl Champion KuwiRules145 is off to a good start KuwiRules145's Avatar
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    Re: Pick Up Lines Between Love & Hate

    OH WOW SUch an AMAZING POEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! First it's all love but it turns to hate!!! Thats such amazing!!! I hope to see more!
    「When I'm sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead」

  4. #4
    Otaku xxoxx is off to a good start xxoxx's Avatar
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    Re: Pick Up Lines Between Love & Hate

    that was such as a nice poem ...i like the way you writed in short sentences like what aeonking say to make it faster ....hope to see more from you ...keep up....

    Foolish beating

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