Pick Up Lines Between Love & Hate

PunkAngel7 · Jun 02, 2007, 04:21 PM

To feel your
lips againt
mine
one last
time,

So I can
drown
with a
frown,

For each broken
heart
that has fallen
apart

This last bit of
feeling
I've spent
stealing

to finally
feel
what used
to be so
real

As my lungs
begin to
fill
I need to live
still

To pick you
up from your
fall
as you begin to
call

Without a second
thought
and every battle
that I
fought

As I keep going
Under
forever listening
to the
Thunder...

aeonking · Jun 02, 2007, 05:28 PM

well thats a good use of ryhme and you have very short stanzas which to me makes the poem seem more faster

KuwiRules145 · Jun 02, 2007, 05:34 PM

OH WOW SUch an AMAZING POEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! First it's all love but it turns to hate!!! Thats such amazing!!! I hope to see more!

xxoxx · Jun 02, 2007, 10:04 PM

that was such as a nice poem ...i like the way you writed in short sentences like what aeonking say to make it faster ....hope to see more from you ...keep up....

Jun 02, 2007, 04:21 PM	#1 (permalink)
PunkAngel7 Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Under ur bed muwhahaha Posts: 129 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 310	Pick Up Lines Between Love & Hate To feel your lips againt mine one last time, So I can drown with a frown, For each broken heart that has fallen apart This last bit of feeling I've spent stealing to finally feel what used to be so real As my lungs begin to fill I need to live still To pick you up from your fall as you begin to call Without a second thought and every battle that I fought As I keep going Under forever listening to the Thunder... __________________ You wouldn't know a good thing if it came up and slit your throat
Status: Offline

Jun 02, 2007, 05:28 PM	#2 (permalink)
aeonking Diamond in the Rough Join Date: May 2007 Location: In the shadows Posts: 231 Thanks: 3 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Credits: 2,711	Re: Pick Up Lines Between Love & Hate well thats a good use of ryhme and you have very short stanzas which to me makes the poem seem more faster
Status: Offline

Jun 02, 2007, 05:34 PM	#3 (permalink)
KuwiRules145 Tournaments Won: 2 ♡♥I love you Kyle Kun!♥♡ Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: In my lovers heart Posts: 963 Thanks: 3 Thanked 24 Times in 16 Posts Credits: 13,226	Re: Pick Up Lines Between Love & Hate OH WOW SUch an AMAZING POEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! First it's all love but it turns to hate!!! Thats such amazing!!! I hope to see more! __________________ ♡♥♡♥No matter what I'll always love you for Eternity...I love you Kyle♥♡♥♡ Never let me go... hold me tight and love me like I do ♡♥Anime Life♥♡
Status: Offline

Jun 02, 2007, 10:04 PM	#4 (permalink)
xxoxx Otaku Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Tokyo,Japan. Posts: 389 Thanks: 5 Thanked 12 Times in 12 Posts Credits: 5,158	Re: Pick Up Lines Between Love & Hate that was such as a nice poem ...i like the way you writed in short sentences like what aeonking say to make it faster ....hope to see more from you ...keep up.... __________________ Thank You _gwenibe_ ,You Just Rock .. "I'm not going there to die. I'm going to find out if I'm really alive."
Status: Offline

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Welcome to AnimeOnline.net, your personal Anime Community!	Anime Online Rulez!

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
pick up lines .....	equinn	Cyber Lounge	86	Apr 23, 2007 05:41 PM
pick up lines	equinn	Cyber Lounge	64	Oct 06, 2006 01:19 PM
In the eyes of Love & Hate	Horrorfact	Poems	9	Aug 11, 2006 08:18 PM
pick up lines	waterdude	The Chat Forum	45	Jun 12, 2006 06:56 AM
Love it? Hate it? Or what?	Dark Raven	The Chat Forum	11	May 23, 2006 12:28 AM