Pig Poetry #4

*pigtaru* · May 24, 2006, 12:22 AM

title: mother mother

where would i be, eight years only,
a clean plate, a clean slate, you've given me,
hopes you've planted, and success you've dreamed,
your only precious, your treasured possession,
willed me to be more, not two or three, but four

walking before me, you stood a mirror,
reflecting respect, taking the hard steps,
you laid the stones, i merely followed, stumbling,
but not alone, never fearful,
your footsteps engraved, one whole,
my mind, my body, my soul

you fell ill, you stood up,
you are pounded, you are weathered,
yet you endured, we, still together
many years you've led, now I'm finally ahead,
your tree stands tall, your aspirations now reality,
your only student, now graduated,
grateful and indebted, for your sacrifices

Fudge · May 24, 2006, 12:25 AM

Wow.... wat a vocab, lol. I like I like. Impressive work Pig, I love the description and the atmopshere built around the poem. Awwww... Piggy loves his mommy, lol. ^^

Keep up the good work.

michiru726 · May 24, 2006, 12:27 AM

awww.... that's a really touching poem piggy-chan... ^^ now that you've graduated, it's a really awesome gift for your mom.... *sniffs* Pam likes it very much... lol... keep it up.... ^-^ byeeeee~!

*Hold.Me.X.Thrill.Me* · May 24, 2006, 04:58 AM

This is your best poetry yet Piggy! ^^

Quote:

walking before me, you stood a mirror,
reflecting respect, taking the hard steps,

This is my favourite bit, about how the respect is reflected in the use of a mirror, original!

I don't think there were any spelling mistakes woo hoo!!

Its great how you appriciate your mother and wrote this poem, and even though i've said it, congrats again on graduating!! ^^

*pigtaru* · May 24, 2006, 09:00 AM

Thank you Fudge, Pam, and Kerry,

. Much love to all mothers,

cerebrum · May 24, 2006, 11:15 AM

SCORE!! Another masterpiece....... meh? in my opinion probably not ur best work... but its great !!! ^_^

*tear* I love mommy too, lol.

Nympho · May 24, 2006, 12:39 PM

I almost cryed! Where did all of this come from. You should work on making a book. I can't believe how well together put it was. Like it was always that way. Already some kind of anthem. I like it alot!

*pigtaru* · May 25, 2006, 01:39 PM

Thanks Cere and Myssy

@Myssy: Me? a book??? lol...these are not worthy to be put in a book. If i had something like a book, it would have pictures of Myssy inside,

*HolderOfTheDarkChalice* · May 25, 2006, 01:46 PM

i like how you reflected

your mom and how she helped you

no matter if she was sick.you know

its like moms sacrafice everything for you

not even thinking about it. this was an awsome poem

*Kasai* · May 25, 2006, 01:51 PM

-sigh-

Capitilization! Oh! How thee misses when the world capitilized correctly. Everything was going fairly well until I hit the third stanza. I was left yawning and wondering when will it end?

I love your use of words. The ending just needs to be jazzed up a bit.

*pigtaru* · May 25, 2006, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kasai

-sigh-

Capitilization! Oh! How thee misses when the world capitilized correctly. Everything was going fairly well until I hit the third stanza. I was left yawning and wondering when will it end?

I love your use of words. The ending just needs to be jazzed up a bit.

sad to say, i agree, with what u say about the 3rd stanza....

but i dont capitalize...only to place emphasis on words

May 24, 2006, 12:22 AM	#1 (permalink)
pigtaru Otaku Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Elk Grove, CA USA Posts: 400 Thanks: 0 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts Credits: 534	Pig Poetry #4 title: mother mother where would i be, eight years only, a clean plate, a clean slate, you've given me, hopes you've planted, and success you've dreamed, your only precious, your treasured possession, willed me to be more, not two or three, but four walking before me, you stood a mirror, reflecting respect, taking the hard steps, you laid the stones, i merely followed, stumbling, but not alone, never fearful, your footsteps engraved, one whole, my mind, my body, my soul you fell ill, you stood up, you are pounded, you are weathered, yet you endured, we, still together many years you've led, now I'm finally ahead, your tree stands tall, your aspirations now reality, your only student, now graduated, grateful and indebted, for your sacrifices __________________ o~Piggy-san~o
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May 24, 2006, 12:25 AM	#2 (permalink)
Fudge Newbie Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 8 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 110	Re: Pig Poetry #4 Wow.... wat a vocab, lol. I like I like. Impressive work Pig, I love the description and the atmopshere built around the poem. Awwww... Piggy loves his mommy, lol. ^^ Keep up the good work. __________________ WHAT THE FUDGE!!!!
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May 24, 2006, 12:27 AM	#3 (permalink)
michiru726 Newbie Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: 180 degrees parallel to my monitor Posts: 97 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 690	Re: Pig Poetry #4 awww.... that's a really touching poem piggy-chan... ^^ now that you've graduated, it's a really awesome gift for your mom.... sniffs Pam likes it very much... lol... keep it up.... ^-^ byeeeee~! __________________ "Deviously Revamped."
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May 24, 2006, 09:00 AM	#5 (permalink)
pigtaru Otaku Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Elk Grove, CA USA Posts: 400 Thanks: 0 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts Credits: 534	Re: Pig Poetry #4 Thank you Fudge, Pam, and Kerry, . Much love to all mothers, __________________ o~Piggy-san~o
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May 24, 2006, 11:15 AM	#6 (permalink)
cerebrum Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Some part of the universe. Posts: 295 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Credits: 949	Re: Pig Poetry #4 SCORE!! Another masterpiece....... meh? in my opinion probably not ur best work... but its great !!! ^_^ tear I love mommy too, lol. __________________ Sig courtesy goes to : Sazuka. [Sig team]
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May 24, 2006, 12:39 PM	#7 (permalink)
Nympho Upcoming Legend Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: I get bored easily Posts: 511 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 701	Re: Pig Poetry #4 I almost cryed! Where did all of this come from. You should work on making a book. I can't believe how well together put it was. Like it was always that way. Already some kind of anthem. I like it alot! __________________ I'm a glass child. I am Hannah's regrets. Monster.
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May 25, 2006, 01:39 PM	#8 (permalink)
pigtaru Otaku Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Elk Grove, CA USA Posts: 400 Thanks: 0 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts Credits: 534	Re: Pig Poetry #4 Thanks Cere and Myssy @Myssy: Me? a book??? lol...these are not worthy to be put in a book. If i had something like a book, it would have pictures of Myssy inside, __________________ o~Piggy-san~o
Status: Offline

May 25, 2006, 01:46 PM	#9 (permalink)
HolderOfTheDarkChalice Tournaments Won: 1 King Of Darkness Join Date: May 2006 Location: someplace where the only light is the moon above Posts: 2,839 Thanks: 34 Thanked 33 Times in 31 Posts Credits: 5,581	Re: Pig Poetry #4 i like how you reflected your mom and how she helped you no matter if she was sick.you know its like moms sacrafice everything for you not even thinking about it. this was an awsome poem __________________
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May 25, 2006, 01:51 PM	#10 (permalink)
Kasai Domme Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Florida Posts: 2,745 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 1,616	Re: Pig Poetry #4 -sigh- Capitilization! Oh! How thee misses when the world capitilized correctly. Everything was going fairly well until I hit the third stanza. I was left yawning and wondering when will it end? I love your use of words. The ending just needs to be jazzed up a bit. __________________ Seduced by Flesh
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