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Thread: Pig Poetry #4

  1. #9
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: Pig Poetry #4

    i like how you reflected

    your mom and how she helped you

    no matter if she was sick.you know

    its like moms sacrafice everything for you

    not even thinking about it. this was an awsome poem
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  2. #10
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: Pig Poetry #4

    -sigh-

    Capitilization! Oh! How thee misses when the world capitilized correctly. Everything was going fairly well until I hit the third stanza. I was left yawning and wondering when will it end?

    I love your use of words. The ending just needs to be jazzed up a bit.
    Seduced by Flesh


  3. #11
    Otaku pigtaru may be famous one day pigtaru may be famous one day pigtaru's Avatar
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    Re: Pig Poetry #4

    Quote Originally Posted by Kasai
    -sigh-

    Capitilization! Oh! How thee misses when the world capitilized correctly. Everything was going fairly well until I hit the third stanza. I was left yawning and wondering when will it end?

    I love your use of words. The ending just needs to be jazzed up a bit.
    sad to say, i agree, with what u say about the 3rd stanza....

    but i dont capitalize...only to place emphasis on words

    o~Piggy-san~o

  4. #12
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: Pig Poetry #4

    I understand that. Try another way to emphasize a word? Perhaps fiddle around with spacing? Breaks? There are many literary devices for you to use.
    Seduced by Flesh


  5. #13
    Otaku pigtaru may be famous one day pigtaru may be famous one day pigtaru's Avatar
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    Re: Pig Poetry #4

    Thanks I will consider these ideas for my future writing practices

    o~Piggy-san~o

  6. #14
    Newbie Chanzor may be famous one day Chanzor may be famous one day Chanzor's Avatar
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    Re: Pig Poetry #4

    Nice, a very interesting poem. Great job.
    Channy

  7. #15
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    Re: Pig Poetry #4

    Awww... YOU LOVE YOUR MOM! THAT'S SO CUTE!

    no but really, it is a nice read! Just don't forget that when she yells at you!

  8. #16
    Newbie Firion may be famous one day Firion may be famous one day Firion's Avatar
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    Re: Pig Poetry #4

    yeah i liked the poem and all, but could you try to be a little more (in)considerate with that type of stuff. it was good to me also anyways.

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