poem

Shade/K' Heart · Nov 07, 2006, 01:38 PM

Tears of bloodflow....
Pain...
Let me go...

I need not be like this,
like my pain of old.

I'm dying by old wounds unmeanded,
and the pain has never ended.

No wonder all are confused by me,
cause my old pain they cannot see.

Tears... stop flowing,
so I don't die.

I hate myself for who I've become...
Now I have the one...
but I'm so cold inside,
that I feel i'll be the one to make her die.

My fear....
that i inadvertantly hurt her.
That the bloodflow tears,
will be her final rest making wound.

Now... i try to not hurt you,
but my own pain tries.

Comfort me please,
everytime my bloodflow tears,
try to harm you,
so that they won't flow.

Please....
my love.....
don't let me go.......

By: Justin McCormick

Sincere · Nov 07, 2006, 04:51 PM

This was a very nice poem. I can relate to your feelings. I thought the stanzas were done nicely, with the emotion.

*Kasai* · Nov 08, 2006, 03:03 AM

Bloodflow tears? Not understanding. But you always had a way with words.

Twisted Fate · Nov 08, 2006, 03:11 AM

*sniffles* omgz..i can relate to u..i think, based from ur poem we're pretty much the same..

Shippo101 · Nov 08, 2006, 06:32 AM

wow that was deep i really can relate, btw b4 i get emotional, that was awesome keep it up.

LostbutFound · Nov 08, 2006, 10:20 AM

wow that poem is great anda deep i can totally relate i love this poem"10"

*jaderabbit* · Nov 08, 2006, 10:24 AM

An yet again the same damn post, if your not going to give critique dont post.

ONCE MORE!
http://www.animeonline.net/fanfics-a...-you-post.html
Also please give a little critisism no more "I like it then leaving" or ill stick a 10% warning on you!!

Pleae contniue on with the thread.

BlueFox1 · Nov 10, 2006, 07:27 AM

there is a deeper emotion behind this poem and I can't quite place my finger on it! But the use of word in this poem is very well thought out and you have a very unique style! Nice Job!

FLawEdmiNd · Nov 15, 2006, 10:58 PM

I can't help but feel you kept saying the same thing over again just with different words.. was that the point?

Shade/K' Heart · Nov 16, 2006, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FLawEdmiNd

I can't help but feel you kept saying the same thing over again just with different words.. was that the point?

Well, the pain is the same as it has been in the past, so yes. I did mean it that way.

Nov 07, 2006, 01:38 PM	#1 (permalink)
Shade/K' Heart Otaku Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: I am always near... Posts: 413 Thanks: 10 Thanked 10 Times in 8 Posts Credits: 3,204	poem Tears of bloodflow.... Pain... Let me go... I need not be like this, like my pain of old. I'm dying by old wounds unmeanded, and the pain has never ended. No wonder all are confused by me, cause my old pain they cannot see. Tears... stop flowing, so I don't die. I hate myself for who I've become... Now I have the one... but I'm so cold inside, that I feel i'll be the one to make her die. My fear.... that i inadvertantly hurt her. That the bloodflow tears, will be her final rest making wound. Now... i try to not hurt you, but my own pain tries. Comfort me please, everytime my bloodflow tears, try to harm you, so that they won't flow. Please.... my love..... don't let me go....... By: Justin McCormick __________________ Far be it for me to be anything special, when the only special thing I desire with me, is the special person I share my gifts with.
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Nov 07, 2006, 04:51 PM	#2 (permalink)
Sincere Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Justin's heart Posts: 307 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 364	Re: poem This was a very nice poem. I can relate to your feelings. I thought the stanzas were done nicely, with the emotion. __________________ $C:\Documents and Settings\Julia\My Documents\My Pictures\Siggy.jpg$ A white rose no longer alone I know who's heart it is to represent I didn't pick it, but i let it grow For he's the one that's heaven sent. : I love you, my White Rose.: The Poop Forums
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Nov 08, 2006, 03:03 AM	#3 (permalink)
Kasai Domme Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Florida Posts: 2,745 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 1,490	Re: poem Bloodflow tears? Not understanding. But you always had a way with words. __________________ Seduced by Flesh
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Nov 08, 2006, 03:11 AM	#4 (permalink)
Twisted Fate Newbie Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 47 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 10	Re: poem sniffles omgz..i can relate to u..i think, based from ur poem we're pretty much the same..
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Nov 08, 2006, 06:32 AM	#5 (permalink)
Shippo101 Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: In a banana Posts: 220 Thanks: 11 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Credits: 4,261	Re: poem wow that was deep i really can relate, btw b4 i get emotional, that was awesome keep it up. __________________ The heavens laugh at our foolish deed and the greed we exceed
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Welcome to AnimeOnline.net, your personal Anime Community!	Anime Online Rulez!

Nov 08, 2006, 10:20 AM	#6 (permalink)
LostbutFound Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Behind you ...........boo Posts: 294 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 814	Re: poem wow that poem is great anda deep i can totally relate i love this poem"10" __________________ Ok in order to judge other you first have to be able to judge yourself, then we must all except each others as equals
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Nov 08, 2006, 10:24 AM	#7 (permalink)
jaderabbit Cheetos Overlord Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: The World Posts: 3,652 Thanks: 0 Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts Credits: 7,404	Re: poem An yet again the same damn post, if your not going to give critique dont post. ONCE MORE! http://www.animeonline.net/fanfics-a...-you-post.html Also please give a little critisism no more "I like it then leaving" or ill stick a 10% warning on you!! Pleae contniue on with the thread. __________________ -Just another green eyed angel, distorted by mans love for hate- \|THE INFAMOUS\|The Host\|Twilight Series\|Twilight Movie\|Untouched!\|
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Nov 10, 2006, 07:27 AM	#8 (permalink)
BlueFox1 Upcoming Legend Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A place called Midnight Sun know as Tranquility Posts: 584 Thanks: 8 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts Credits: 1,176	Re: poem there is a deeper emotion behind this poem and I can't quite place my finger on it! But the use of word in this poem is very well thought out and you have a very unique style! Nice Job! __________________
Status: Offline

Nov 15, 2006, 10:58 PM	#9 (permalink)
FLawEdmiNd Otaku Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: winnipeg Posts: 460 Thanks: 1 Thanked 8 Times in 8 Posts Credits: 8,063	Re: poem I can't help but feel you kept saying the same thing over again just with different words.. was that the point? __________________ KAGUTSUCHi~HiME
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