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Thread: A poem and an Explanation

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    Newbie EternalNaraku77 may be famous one day EternalNaraku77 may be famous one day
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    Post A poem and an Explanation

    She scarred my heart with a lie
    A lie I can’t forgive
    Because even scars can’t be hidden away
    I asked if she loved me
    And she lied with a "yes"
    I knew because she ended it the next day
    So I ask another question to which she won’t hear
    "Why the hell would you lie to me about love?"

    The story is that my friend had a girlfriend and they were happy together. They were a great couple, but she started to gradually be more withdrawn and lie more to him. He asked her if she loved him and she hugged him and during the hug he felt her cross her fingers and say yes. It hurt him pretty bad so my friend and I started to write poems and songs about it. You've read 3 of 7. I guess I will gradually post all of them. If anyone is curious, he did find a new girlfriend and as far as I know, she hasn't found anyone yet.

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    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: A poem and an Explanation

    I didnt see or feel any of the things in which you explained about in this poem. Well, I saw a little bit. Nevertheless, it invoked little feeling within me. I'm not saying it wasnt good! It's just lacking something. I'd like to see you pretty a few things up. You know, use some pretty words. Make the reader see and feel as if they were the subject of the poem.
    Seduced by Flesh


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