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Thread: Poem Pack of Five

  1. #1
    Otaku Cruisin with crush Champion, Animal Rescue Champion abby724 is off to a good start abby724's Avatar
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    Poem Pack of Five

    Yes, my poems have a style that is quite... atypical compared to other poems on here. But a poem is a composition in verse that converys one's thoughts and feelings, right? But to tell you the truth, I have absolutely no idea what I was thinking when I wrote this, other than the urge to express my thoughts. Let me know what you think. And yes, I'm aware I've posted Vague Memories, though I didn't get much of a response form that... Though I do appreciate what I did get, don't get me wrong.

    If this one post is too long, let me know and I'll take a few poems off and make another thread for them tomorrow.

    Her Name— I wrote when I was eleven. Digging through a portfolio and reading it, I found it amusing, and I thought it'd be nice to share it with you all.

    Vague Memories —I've posted it before, but only got one positive response. I'm grateful for it, though.


    ---------------

    A Certain Kind of Bliss

    I know of a place where
    Hate, sorrow, and regret
    Fade away…

    Where memories,
    Having disappeared into oblivion,
    Linger on…

    Where the vanished souls,
    Lost in dawn’s light,
    Are lulled into an eternal rest.

    But, only a certain kind of bliss
    Can take you there…
    Death.

    ---------------

    Pure, Lofty, Beautiful Things

    Always fleeting,
    Always fading,
    Always changing.

    Anywhere and Everywhere,
    Any condition and Every condition,
    They form.

    Those bound to Earth
    Look up to them with awe,
    Never ceasing to be amazed.

    These pure, lofty, beautiful things,
    Never ever solid, Never ever tangible,
    How lovely yet ephemeral dreams are…

    ---------------

    Pristine Waters

    Lost at sea,
    I’m thirsty!
    I’ve had enough of saltwater.
    Tormenting despair, I can feel it…
    But yonder, an island!

    Greeted by settlers before me,
    They bring me to a wonderful spring.
    Cupping my hands
    And taking a scoop,
    It goes down my throat.

    So fresh! So pristine! How lovely!
    And so they all start drinking alongside of me.
    I look up to thank them for the refreshment,
    But I see everyone else has drowned,
    Having guzzled too much of this pristine water.

    ---------------

    The Stars

    I look up at the stars
    Every single night.

    They’re always
    Glowing, sparkling, twinkling,
    Something to be awed at.

    But you know,
    I’ve realized something.

    They may last long,
    But these bright lights in the sky
    Will go out someday.

    ---------------

    Vague Memories

    You held my hand in yours
    During those lonely times.
    I looked up and I saw
    Your smiling face.

    My heart embraced a dream
    During those lonely times.
    I looked inside myself…
    There you and I were.

    I woke up from my dream.
    You were nowhere to be seen.
    And now, vague memories of you
    Are all I own.

    I am lost.
    Confused and all alone.
    Where are you?
    The warmth I felt is gone.

    Gone from me,
    My dreams and my hope.
    Lost in despair,
    Vague memories are all I own.

    ---------------

    Her Name

    Do her homework,
    Cut in line,
    Start stalking her
    To make sure she’s fine

    Hang around her
    Like a fly,
    Glance at her
    While passing by

    Hear rumors,
    Lies,
    About other guys.

    Another guy
    Lays a peck on her cheek,
    Holds her hands.
    Some swell good-bye.

    Start to cry,
    Heartbroken
    She’s with that other guy.

    Oh well,
    Calm down,
    You never learned
    Her name.

  2. #2
    Otaku Caixa 2006 Champion Corvus may be famous one day Corvus may be famous one day Corvus's Avatar
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    Re: Poem Pack of Five

    err abby what do you do when you do know her name? what then? try and forget it :P
    I'm just playing with you but I still want that answer (pm it to me)

    As far as the poetry on this page goes I particularly like Death...^_^ I wrote one like it a long time ago but it's lost now.

    Pure Lofty Beuatiful things
    Dreams are the material which our world is made up of (remember that)
    Great poem a little easy to get lost in but still good.

    Pristine waters
    Is this a metaphor for something else, or is it just for fun?
    Either way great idea behind the poem

    The great thing about stars is that over half of the stars in out night sky burnt out millions of years ago... but we're still getting their light ^_^ (ahaha sorry to throw in hope where it's not welcomed)

    Vague memories suck especially when their all you have of someone who used to be special that numbness is pain... way to wrap it up in a simple poem although I feel kinda guilty reading it because it's pure expression.

    ... and join my rebellion against time.

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  4. #3
    Otaku ryomakurosaki is off to a good start ryomakurosaki's Avatar
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    Re: Poem Pack of Five

    Wow I am shocked! These poems blow me away! I am truly a big fan of your work ^^

    Well I would think it would have been better if you posted them in different posts. It would make it easier to commment but it's your decision ^^

    The Stars and A Certain Kind Of Bliss are both wonderful and filled with such emotions! But I think you really could have made them a bit longer. Bring out more emotions and feelings.

    The rest was quite wonderful and I really don't have much to same on them.

    Wonderful work ^^ I hope to read more in the future.
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  6. #4
    Otaku Cruisin with crush Champion, Animal Rescue Champion abby724 is off to a good start abby724's Avatar
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    Re: Poem Pack of Five

    Quote Originally Posted by Corvus View Post
    Pristine waters
    Is this a metaphor for something else, or is it just for fun?
    Either way great idea behind the poem
    I used "pristine waters" as a metaphor for enlightenment. Enlightenment is good and all, especially when you're almost drowning in salted truths, but I don't need it shoved down my throat. And people "drown" in enlightenment as often as people drowning in such disgusting truths... But perhaps it isn't too bad having every single one of my relatives outside my immediate family perhaps overly religious...
    GALERIE : Limited Internet access for certain reasons...

  7. #5
    Otaku Caixa 2006 Champion Corvus may be famous one day Corvus may be famous one day Corvus's Avatar
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    Re: Poem Pack of Five

    This is reallt good I'm glad that you cleared that up... I suppose that I could've taken the time to do a poetic analysis to ciphen out the meanigng behind it but I just got doen exams and you were nice enough to tell me! ^_^ Thanks alot it makes so much more sense... pure brilliance.

    ... and join my rebellion against time.

  8. #6
    Chtonian Slayer Astaroth may be famous one day Astaroth's Avatar
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    Re: Poem Pack of Five

    These are truly are a work of art.....you definitely have great talent writing poetry....
    My favorite is Vague Memories....it just simply touched my heart....it is clear what you are trying to say....but it also has a hint of mystery and passion to it....very romantic.....I absolutely love it!!!!!!
    DO NOT MAKE ME UNLEASH MY INNER DEMON

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    Newbie shinobi tres is off to a good start
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    Re: Poem Pack of Five

    wow...hmm i always appreciate a good poem or two and i was surprised to see so many. thanx well no need in letting talent go to waste so i would say to keep going.

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