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Thread: Poems...

  1. #1
    Newbie Jounin_Uzumaki may be famous one day Jounin_Uzumaki may be famous one day Jounin_Uzumaki's Avatar
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    Poems...

    well... I am new to poetry... and I want to know what you all think of my poems I will be writing... for now I have started with an anti-war poem... and here it is...

    End of a War
    By
    Jounin_Uzumaki

    A far-off land set ablaze
    Cities filled with a red haze
    The world may behold this sight
    Watching Brothers-in-arms die tonight
    The people hide underground from the blast
    Just hoping that they will last
    While waiting for the sun to rise
    Hoping for the greatest surprise to be held in their eyes
    The war to end that very day
    And life be on its normal way.
    ___________________________________________
    I have an RP site... want to join? Then PM me and we'll talk...

    P.S. - Don't hurt me...

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    Heavy Metal Goddess CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18's Avatar
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    That is a nice poem. It's not bad for your first try. Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading more of your poems.

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    Newbie Jounin_Uzumaki may be famous one day Jounin_Uzumaki may be famous one day Jounin_Uzumaki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CherryBlossom18 View Post
    That is a nice poem. It's not bad for your first try. Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading more of your poems.
    Thanks... I will post more poems when I come up with them... hopefully more people will respond though...
    I have an RP site... want to join? Then PM me and we'll talk...

    P.S. - Don't hurt me...

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    Newbie lydia sex slave may be famous one day lydia sex slave may be famous one day lydia sex slave's Avatar
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    Re: Poems...

    i loved ur poem im not really good at commenting though i dont go detailed but i really like the poem
    made by sinistra thnk you love my friends aswell

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    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
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    Re: Poems...

    Good job on writing this anti-war poem! You definitely make your feelings known when writing this and it also captures the true essence that goes through a soilders mind! Hope to read more soon!

  6. #6
    Newbie Jounin_Uzumaki may be famous one day Jounin_Uzumaki may be famous one day Jounin_Uzumaki's Avatar
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    Re: Poems...

    Here is my second poem... finally finished for the public...

    Rewrite...
    By
    Jounin Uzumaki

    What once flowed like a river now is an ocean in a storm
    a place where time and space flow past like a swarm
    It's everywhere, changing and fitting my needs
    To satisfy my ends, to end my sufferring
    I have to kill my executioner so that he hears my pleads
    But when I killed he who was destined to send me to my end
    I realized that it wasn't he who was my killer, it was I...
    I sentenced myself to death, but now I have another chance
    to take it all back, and treat it as just a glance
    of what could have happened, if I had not chose to rewrite my past...
    I have an RP site... want to join? Then PM me and we'll talk...

    P.S. - Don't hurt me...

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    Newbie Jounin_Uzumaki may be famous one day Jounin_Uzumaki may be famous one day Jounin_Uzumaki's Avatar
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    Re: Poems...

    The Darkness
    by Jounin_Uzumaki

    The light has faded, the world is dark
    My life seems futile, going on with no purpose
    Every time it is one step forwards, three steps back
    My progress is hindered by lies and filth
    Making my steps slowed and heavy
    Every time it is one step forwards, three steps back
    The world taunts me, hiding it's true colors
    Staring at me with blood-red eyes
    That lust for my defeat...
    Waiting to slash at me
    With claws especially made for
    Reaping my soul from my body...
    And a body of pure evil
    Wishing for the one chance to crush my spirit...
    Once and for all....
    Even though this terrible creature
    Wants to crush me...
    He will not....
    For he is just the darkness that awaits in my heart...
    And my inner light will keep me alive...
    Even in this most perilous dark...

    I have no idea how good this is... I quite literally just wrote it.... so tell me what you think...
    I have an RP site... want to join? Then PM me and we'll talk...

    P.S. - Don't hurt me...

  8. #8
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    Re: Poems...

    My love for you...
    by
    Jounin_Uzumaki


    The light of a million stars cannot compare to it,
    An eternity seems a small time to wait for us to share it,
    Locks and chains bar my heart,
    Prevent it from nothing at the start,
    A million miles is no disance at all,
    Even when I trip and fall,
    A voyage to the bottom of the big, deep blue,
    Nothing will prevent me from loving you.
    __________________________________________________ _________
    Note that I made this poem for someone special to me... and that this is my first real attempt at writing a poem about love... anyways... criticism... roll on! ^_^
    I have an RP site... want to join? Then PM me and we'll talk...

    P.S. - Don't hurt me...

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