BlueFox1

A Poetic confession
by BlueFox1


Just another freeverse poem I created from one of my recent experinces! Please comment and let me know what you think!


In my wildest dreams I could never express what I felt when I met you
Yet now everything that I once thought would turn out to be love is not
Every rose is not red, every star does not shine and you are not a reality
My eyes are no longer clouded by misguided emotions or feelings of you


We talked for hours at a time about any and every subject that came up
Enjoying each other’s company like two newborns just learning to play
Wondering where these moments would lead in the world’s forest of lies
Only to learn that our heartfelt connection would be severed so easily


Now I can no longer even talked to you to say what’s truly on my mind
Quickly raising a brick wall like a protective fortress to invading enemies
Realizing the one you fear most is your own reflection seen within me
Relentless I try to be heard like a whisper amongst the deafest of ears


Beginning to understand that I’m merely fading out of existence like time
The uncanny race to find love begins to wither away like dying dreams
Hearts begin to lose their brightness turning cold and fragile like glass
Shattered by emotionless souls casting endless stones into life’s game


Peace finally returns within this wondering battered shell of person
Breathing in endless possibilities like poet creating a new work of art
Hoping for a chance to open up this void where my heart once beat
Allowing my thought, my dreams, and my love to become acknowledged

__________________

KimiFemi

__________________
Secret Love


"Love everyone unless they dont love you back"
http://z13.invisionfree.com/Deaths_d...ex.php?act=idx

Lasura

WoW! Really, really good. I really like this poem. Though when I first saw it I thought it won't have a very interesting flow... I was wrong- it flows wonderfully and the words you use are so beautiful and quite unusual (I even had to open my vocabulart for one word- thank you for teaching me a new word )

But I found one mistake (gramar):
talk and not taked yay!!! I helped!!! Jk! ^^ I'm just trying to do my best to analyse this. But the thing is that I really like it and can't find nothing wrong with it... Maybe only it was hard for me to follow the thought, but that is because my level of English, which is not as high as I'd wish it to be...

Oh and I just though I'd mention. These:
are my favourite lines, you created perfect immages in my head with these two... Really nice work. and the words and expressions you've chosen here... great... "Your own reflection", "a whisper".... nice....

Reading this, I really started to wish that I could get over my writers block to be able to write again... *sigh*

Anyways... another really nice work from you. I hope to see more!

__________________

My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

BlueFox1

Lasura: Thank youf for finding the mistakes in my poem and I greatly appreciate you taking the time to read and look for thing to make me better in my poetry writing, so you did help! yAY! lol! Most of my poetry comes from things that I 've been recently experinced or what my friends are going through so don't worry there will be plenty more where this one came from. My intended purpose for this poem is to present and image in the readers head and I'm glad that the two of the stanza presented such a vivid image! Lasura you rock!



Kimi!!!: Well I just wanted the readers to understand what I was feeling and with you saying that, that means that my poem did just that! It's okay that it took you so long to read it, I'm just greatful you even took the time to read it at all and commented on it as well! I am feeling better but I'm working on another one for my friend who is going through some tough times in his marriage. >.< *Hugs Kimi!

__________________